I picked up an artifact like a box with a long tube attached, it gave no indication what function it had once performed. Carefully, I set it back down on the shelf, in the same dust void where it had been, so the hamsters wouldn't know someone had been screwing with their stuff. The question was not whether I wanted to rescue Earth. I wore the uniform, it was my duty to act if I could. The question is whether I believed a being that looked more like a Coors Light than an omnipotent AI. "Skippy, you've sold me on this deal. I still think you're at least 90 percent bullshit, but if there is any chance we can cut off Kristang access to Earth, I'm taking it. I'm sure not doing anything useful on this planet." Earth was also my best chance to get a cheeseburger within the next, say, century. "Tell me your plan. Details."

"It's more of a concept than a plan."

"That's not how you build confidence, Skippy."

"Your species has a saying: 'no plan survives contact with the enemy'. That's decent wisdom, even for monkeys."

"Yeah, that's why the Army trains us to be flexible and adapt." I explained. "You are still supposed to start with a op plan."

"Maybe I didn't say it the right way. The reason I can't tell you the plan is, there are several plans, depending on what the lizards do. And the Thuranin. Like, when we get out of orbit and I whistle for a ride, the next step is totally different depending on whether the Kristang send one ship, or more than one."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Tell me our options."

"This is complicated-"

"Skippy, before I was a colonel with a cushy job planting potatoes, I was a grunt carrying a rifle in the Nigerian jungle. That means I can instinctively smell when a hair-brained plan is going to get people killed for nothing, people like me. You may be super intelligent, but when was the last time you were in combat? Your plans rely on humans to capture ships, right? I know what human soldiers can and can't do."

"Fair enough." And Skippy told me his plan.

Holy shit. I really was going to do this.

Our chance to bust out of the joint came the next morning. My sleep on a cot had been fitful. Within a short time, I'd gone from imminent execution by the lizards, to launching a mission to SAVE THE WORLD. Yes, the all caps are intentional, wouldn't you? It was amazing I got any sleep at all. With a click, the door unlocked again, and Skippy called out. "Hurry, it's time to go."

I looked at him carefully. "How do I pick you up?" He probably wouldn't like me leaving greasy fingerprints on his shiny chrome.