“At least not that you were willing to acknowledge,” he said, again taking her off guard. “Well, you know what?” He leaned his forearms on his thighs and glared at her. “As long as we’re admitting to our anger, I was so angry with you! I understood your concerns, and the vicar certainly made it clear that your concerns were not unfounded. But I wondered what I had ever done to make you have so little faith in me as to believe that we couldn’t have made it work, that we were not worth it. I was furious with you! And before we could even attempt to let the matter settle, you left. And then I was really furious. But I was determined to get over it and to do it right—even though I had to keep it completely to myself in order to honor your desire for secrecy. Without your family I would have crumbled. And Kat was so kind to me, and so genuine. How could I not fall in love with her? And now? Now I look back and realize that she knew I had loved you first, that my heart had been broken. And it all feels . . . tainted somehow. So, if you want to talk about being angry, Amala, I’ll tell you about being angry. After I fought like a soldier in a losing battle to put myself back together after honoring the wishes of one of the Hepworth sisters, I find myself thrown right back out there, being forced to figure out how I’m supposed to honor the wishes of the other Hepworth sister. And I wonder sometimes how my greatest blessings in life can also be my worst curse. I have hated you, and I have hated her! And yet I love you both so much that I can barely breathe if I even try to think about the fact that I have lost her and I can’t have you. And yes, that makes me angry!”

Amala was trembling too much to speak beyond a whispered squeak as she muttered, “I’m so sorry, Henry.”

He stood abruptly and walked around the sofa where he’d been sitting to stand at the window, where he pushed his hands into the pockets of his breeches and leaned his shoulder against the window frame.

“You have every right to be angry with me,” she managed to add in spite of the way she was trembling. “If you—”

“I don’t believe anyone has the right to be angry. Perhaps my anger is understandable, but it’s not a right; it’s my responsibility to figure it out and make peace with it.”

“Easier said than done.”