“I’ve come to see,” Amala said, “that I’ve had a great deal more fear inside of me than I’d ever realized in regard to my parents’ deaths—and the way it happened. I closed myself off from the world—and perhaps from love—because of that fear. I could never see the connection until I began to see the pattern of it written in my own words. I can see now that whatever I choose to do with my life, I need to go forward with confidence and hope and faith, and not make decisions based on fear.”

“That’s a very impressive evaluation of yourself, my dear,” Paulina said. “Most people leave this world without ever understanding themselves so well.” She paused as if to give Amala time to be prepared for a difficult question; Amala had come to recognize the meaning in Paulina’s long pauses. But this time, the question was more difficult than Amala had expected. “If you could go back two years, knowing what you know now, would you have chosen differently? Would you have married Henry?”

“It’s too late to wonder about such things,” Amala said quickly, hoping to divert attention away from how the question bristled her.

“Is it? Do you think if you went back now you would find circumstances changed too much to reconsider?”

“I think it’s more likely than not,” Amala declared. “I’ve been pleading with Henry to move on and to find someone; it would be ridiculous of me to believe that such a thing has not taken place—at least to some degree. And to be completely truthful, I’m still not certain if I would have decided any differently. I loved him dearly—I love him still and doubt that I will ever stop. But that’s just it—I love him enough to recognize that I would have brought hardship into his life. Perhaps to some my decision might appear to be overly self-sacrificing, perhaps even some form of martyrdom; that was never my intention. The truth is that I never felt at peace with balancing out the good that could come of a marriage between us with all the difficulties we might face—and particularly our children. Time and distance have not changed that, which makes me believe all the more that it was the right decision. I wish him every happiness, and I feel better prepared to find happiness and fulfillment in my own life—whatever form that might take.”

“You have come a long way,” Paulina said. “There’s a serenity about you that was very much absent when I whisked you away from England.”

Amala took her aunt’s hand. “You deserve much of the credit for that, Auntie.”

“Oh, no,” Paulina chuckled humbly. “I have offered you opportunities; what you have chosen to do with them has been entirely up to you.”