“Oh. My. God. Pause it, pause it!” Shy grabbed the remote away from Roy and hit pause. She pointed at the screen. “His willy is right there, flapping around in the water. It’s—” She giggled merrily. “Sorry, Dad, but this is too funny! It’s like the worst movie ever. It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” Roy wasn’t watching the movie from a critical perspective; he was merely trying to get inspired.

She hit play again and Brooke Shields and the blond boy with the cherubic curls continued to swim naked and spearfish and collect seaweed in tortoise shells on their magical deserted island, pausing only for sex. Once they discovered sex they did it constantly, which was pretty realistic. They were stuck on an island alone; what else were they going to do?

Roy wondered how he was going to accomplish something similar in space. He wanted the book to be entertaining and poignant, not ridiculous or tawdry. Heartbreak and hilarity, those were his specialties. Losing one’s virginity without gravity? That would be a challenge.

The kids in The Blue Lagoon stumbled upon the remnants of some gruesome native cannibalistic ritual on the “forbidden” side of the island. Maybe Ceran and Bettina could stumble upon some… aliens?

Roy rubbed his eyes anxiously as he continued to watch. Brooke Shields was so moody, she was obviously pregnant. Of course the idiot boy just thought she was fat.

“This is like an educational video for what not to do. You’re supposed to use protection, be hygienic. They probably have STDs.” Shy sniffed the air. “I smell smoke. It’s like, not fireplace smoke but it’s coming through the fireplace. Do you smell it?”

“Shsh.” Roy nodded at the television. “They rarely speak. Let’s not miss anything.”

The doorbell rang repeatedly. Someone pounded violently on the door.

“Hold on.” Shy paused the movie and jumped up to answer it. “If that’s Mum, she’s either being chased by murderers or she’s really drunk.”

She peered through the peephole in the door. It was Liam from school. He’d walked her home after tutoring this afternoon, which was nice, even though she did all the talking. Liam was out of breath and crying.

Shy unlatched the door and opened it wide. “Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry.” Liam stumbled inside and stood in the front hall with his hood up, his shoulders shaking. He wiped the snot away from his nose with the back of his hand. “I made a really big mistake.”

Roy came up behind them and patted Liam’s back. “Shy, why don’t you bring your friend into the library so he can sit down.”