Wendy was preparing dinner and watching her new favorite TV show on her computer, A Royal Week. If she missed anything about living in England it was the royal family. She knew it was dopey of her, but she just ate it up, every last fascinator and footman. Right now, they were doing a recap of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding at Windsor Castle. The show was focused on the changes to the family as a whole since then, including the couple’s escape to America, and the fortitude of the Queen’s husband, HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Meghan herself appeared in a brief interview in what looked like the doorway of a school. Was she or wasn’t she pregnant again? Her red coat was too billowy to see.

“During our last conversation, my grandfather-in-law, Prince Philip, and I talked about how much we love Bonfire Night. The bonfires, the fireworks, the good cheer. Guy Fawkes was trying to blow up Parliament, but he did not succeed. What’s been made of that event, Guy Fawkes Day or Bonfire Night, is always so thrilling, with everyone outside celebrating around massive bonfires. This fall, in honor of Prince Philip, Harry and I will be hosting our first Bonfire Night party in our new home. It’s going to be magical. I’m inviting all my American friends and Harry’s inviting his Royal Air Force buddies. We’re going to party all night.” She smiled her perfect smile. “And there will definitely be fireworks.”

Wendy didn’t think Meghan sounded like a pregnant person. She wasn’t staying in and nesting; she was planning to stay up all night partying.

“Roy!” Wendy called. “Roy!”

Roy had just decided to jump ahead in time and make both girls pregnant. Meanwhile, the people on Earth were watching their every move, like they were the stars of a reality show. Like Tupper with his Macaw.

“Roy?” Wendy bustled into the library. “I’m sorry to interrupt your train of thought, but I’ve just had the most wonderful idea.”

“So have I,” Roy said. “Your program inspired me. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that much of my new book takes place on Mars. And what could be more delightful to those of us plebs on Earth than a wedding on Mars? It would be televised, so we could watch it. I’m not sure of the science of it, the time delay and all that. I don’t think it would quite be in real time. Still, can you imagine the excitement here on Earth? The first Mars wedding! And I was thinking it could be a double wedding—well, two wives anyway—because the rules are different on Mars. Up there everyone’s sort of tribal. I haven’t thought it through.” He clutched his head in sudden agony and pounded his fist on the arm of his chair. “Oh, this is madness.”