‘You might have,’ said Caleb. ‘But not all of us are on holiday.’ He drew himself tall. ‘I have work to do, starting next week.’

Amelia couldn’t help correcting them both. ‘Work experience,’ she said to Caleb. ‘Though it’s still work of course.’ Turning to Xander she added, ‘Logistics-and-costs-wise, travelling all the way to Kinshasa and back makes zero sense. It’s not as if there’ll be fewer poachers to run into a fortnight from now.’

It occurred to me that Amelia really did want to see the mountain gorillas. She’d researched everything about the trip in advance, chimpanzees included, but from what she’d already told me about the gorillas, I reckon she could write a book on them. And yet she hadn’t spent the night without shelter in the jungle. That burning, tumbled sensation I get in my stomach when I’m exhausted was still there: the idea of heading back into the jungle feeling the way I was made me feel sick. Sensing my misgivings, Caleb upped the ante. ‘Of course, I’m not suggesting we head out to look for them today. But first thing tomorrow, when everyone’s had a decent night’s sleep, you’ll all be up for it then, yes?’

What was it with him? Why did I have to rise to it. I’ve no idea. I just know that my shoulders shrugged of their own accord and my voice, though it sounded distant in my ears, was clear enough.

‘Why not?’ I said.

21.

A simple sleeping bag on a cot bed set beneath flapping canvas provided me with possibly the best sleep of my life that night. I didn’t dream, just shut down as if under a spell and awoke ten hours later in daylight. Everyone else was already up, drinking sweetened tea out of tin mugs on benches set around the cooking fire in the clearing beyond our tents. I joined them and Patience handed me a cup. Marcel and Xander were talking together in French, while Amelia listened in. Xander is fluent in about six languages, and Amelia’s general cleverness extends to French too, but I’m shamefully hopeless in anything other than English, so I had no idea what they were talking about. It seemed Xander was telling a joke or funny anecdote, because when he finished the big guide burst out laughing and cuffed him on the shoulder. A second later the penny dropped for Amelia, and she burst out laughing as well. Her laugh is loud and infections: Patience was grinning and I found myself smiling, too. It struck me that whereas the mission Caleb, Innocent and I had undertaken to locate the poachers, survive a night in the forest, escape snares and find our way home had served only to put more prickly distance between my cousin and me, Xander, Amelia, Patience and Marcel had obviously bonded on their return trip through the forest.

Though I’d slept well and felt rested, Innocent appeared tired that morning. His smile was still in place, but it was thinner, more brittle, and his face was tinged grey. After the pickup dropped us at the start point for the trek, he paused us, his singsong voice forced, for ‘gorilla briefing’.