Oh, she needed to understand. “I’ve never done that in a scene. The words run through my head, but I never shared them with a sub. And honestly, what would have come out of my mouth with other subs had nothing to do with the things you make me feel. All my life these words have run through my head, but I never felt like I had to say them until tonight.”

“If you don’t fuck me hard, I’m going to die because I’ve never wanted a man in my life the way I want you. I want the poet and the Dom and the, god, I want the dirty, filthy lover I can’t get enough of. You say you’ve never done that before. Don’t you stop now. Give me all your dirty words, too. I want them.”

He let his hands find her breasts. He’d bound them tight to make sure she would feel them, be deeply aware of them. “This is the sweetest fruit there is, your feminine beauty. Never have I seen anything I wanted more. I worship here.” He tweaked her breasts before moving under her. He had to shift her slightly to get those pretty nipples in his mouth, but he moved back and forth, licking and sucking them. “These buds are the softest flowers…” He stopped because his head was suddenly filled with words he couldn’t speak.

I see children here.

I see life here.

I see future here.

He stepped back, desire churning inside him, but there was more. He knew what lust felt like, what pure molten sex felt like when it rolled through his body in a volcanic state. This was something more. He wanted her but more than her body. He wanted her soul, her future, every ounce of love she had to give. It wouldn’t last. The love inside her would grow and multiply as she grew their children. As her body bore their future, she would love more. Her love would be endless, growing forth from their children and grandchildren and sparking beyond.

This woman had been made for him.

He couldn’t tell her that. Those words were caught, strangled by his past because he couldn’t give her what she deserved. All he could offer her was hard work for years, an entire community that depended on him, responsibility after responsibility.

He could love her, but he didn’t deserve her.

He moved to the rope that held her up. She was too high. He’d wanted her to feel suspended, but in order to join her, he had to lower her down.

God, wasn’t that a metaphor for their relationship? To have her, he had to drag her down. He had to bring her low. She deserved the world and he could only give her a dive bar in flyover country.

But he could give her this now.