If only Duncan could have apologized to Bonmot in a way that Bonmot would have accepted. But he wouldn’t. I think Bonmot was more fragile in his faith than he let on—I think he believed that if he let Duncan back into his life, it would affect his character, would erode his integrity. Duncan could have used Bonmot for balance during those times. He could have used someone other than a sister with one foot who had nightmares about being buried alive in a pile of corpses. Because Lacond really did have him convinced—they’d go to those lunatic meetings of their lunatic society, and Duncan would think that because three hundred people showed up and listened to him he was making progress. (Lacond was enough for me. Lacond never made me feel as if I were damaged or deranged, the way Bonmot could even during the best of our conversations. There’s a whiff of righteousness in the most humble servant of Truff that is a terrible, terrible thing. But Lacond taught me confidence and endurance. Every year of his adult life, he had written down his bizarre, unpopular theories and, through his society, made them available to the public. And every year, most people rejected his work, or feigned indifference, or found his theories an unkind reflection or comment on the man himself. Yet he never stopped, never gave up. It’s more than I could have done.)

I went to one AFTOIS meeting. That was enough for me—one glance at the agenda handed out by a portly woman with a purple scarf wound endlessly around her neck, as though a purple constrictor had a choke hold on her—one glance convinced me I would not be coming back:

THE AMBERGRISIANS FOR THE

ORIGINAL INHABITANTS SOCIETY

WEEKLY MEETING NO. 231

–As Presided Over by Society President James Lacond–

–Minutes Taken by Linda Pitginkel–

–Incidental Music Provided by “George the Flutist”–

–Refreshments Baked by Lara Maleon–

ORDER OF EVENTS

(1) Recital of the Society Motto: “In pursuit of truth, for the truth, by the truth. Against inertia, against ease, against the false.”

(2) Introduction of Speakers [James Lacond]

(3) Rebecca Flange reads an excerpt from her book The Crimes of Tonsure: The Role of Poison

(4) “What Is the Truth—How Shall We Approach It and Its Importance to Our Understanding of the Gray Caps”—speech by Sarah Potent

(5) “Channeling the Dead—Its Impact on Our Understanding of the Gray Caps”—speech by Roger Seabold

(6) “I Am the True Descendant of Samuel Tonsure”—speech by James “Tonsure” Williams

(7) “Evidence for the Existence of a City-Sized Fungus”—speech by Frederick Madnok [as read by Harry Flack in Mr. Madnok’s absence]