I suppose it was because I had been up all night and hadn’t eaten properly, and also that the air in the room was stale and tinged with my child’s vomit, but suddenly I too was overcome with seasickness. I heaved. The room spun around. I lay on my bunk, being flung from side to side, wishing I were dead. The steward bought me a basin, a wet washcloth, and some tea. It lay on the table untouched until a particularly violent wave sent it crashing to the floor. Up above I could hear the distant sound of objects falling and breaking. I tried to sit up to nurse Liam but he would hardly take anything. In my current state I might not have been producing milk anyway.

The next twenty-four hours were like a never ending nightmare. Miss Pinkerton observed my current state and took charge, bringing me down bouillon, ice water, and ginger tea and tempting me to drink. She reported the dining room was less that half full at lunch time, and by dinner there were only twelve people apart from herself and Miss Hetherington. The widows and Miss Schmitt had also succumbed. I spent the night alternately worrying that the ship might go down and then wishing it would so that I could be out of my misery. The night seemed to go on forever and having an inside cabin with no porthole meant that I had no idea when dawn was breaking and whether the day showed any promise of improving conditions.

Miss Pinkerton went up to breakfast and came back to report triumphantly that there were only three people in the dining room and that the waiter had turned positively green when she asked if she might have scrambled eggs and bacon to keep her strength up. She also reported that the upright piano in the second-class lounge had broken loose from its moorings during the night and had careened about the room, demolishing everything in its path as well as itself. All that was left was the keyboard, standing up like a skeleton with the pedals sticking out below it.

When I didn’t smile she bent closer to me. “My dear, you must make an effort, for your child’s sake. How can you provide him with the nourishment he needs if you just lie there? Come on now, buck up. Try sitting up and sipping a little broth.”

“I can’t,” I wailed. “The room spins around and I feel as if I’m going to faint.”

“Nonsense. Remember what we said before? Mind over matter, dear. Mind over matter.”