“Because you didn’t have a choice,” I said. “But this time I’m making the choice. And if I lead you guys into this then one of two things will happen. Either you get killed, or you’ll be responsible for them getting killed. You’ll have their blood on your hands for the rest of your lives, and someday in the future someone else will wind up coming after you the way they’ve come after me.” I looked steadily at Variam. “I won’t do that, Vari. I’m not letting the three of you pay for my mistakes and I’m not letting you do the same things I did. Not for my sake.”

Variam stared back at me. I held his gaze, and in the end it was Variam who looked away. “Fine,” he said. He was trying to act annoyed but I knew I’d gotten through. “Great. So what, keep on hiding?”

I sat in silence. For all that I knew that Variam’s plan would end badly, he was right about one thing: I couldn’t hide forever. Sooner or later I’d have to face Will again.

For what felt like a long time now I’d had a quiet dark voice whispering at the back of my mind, telling me that running wasn’t going to work, that talking wasn’t going to work, that there was only one way this could end. Now at last I stopped resisting and listened.

What do you want?

I wanted to survive. For Will and the Nightstalkers to be gone. For Anne and Variam and Luna to be safe and not to have any sins on their conscience.

So, then.

I wasn’t strong enough to defeat them on my own.

Is it the first time?

It wasn’t the first time I’d gone up against enemies able to beat me in a straight fight. Belthas, Vitus, Onyx . . .

How did you survive?

Each time, I’d survived by making sure it hadn’t been a straight fight. Mostly, I’d done the same thing . . .

And suddenly the plan was laid out before me, as if it had been written down in a book and hidden away until it could just now be opened. It was simple and brutal and I’d had all the pieces I needed for days. But until now, I wouldn’t have been willing to do it. Maybe this was what I’d really been waiting for, the reason I’d been running from Will all this time. My old instincts hadn’t been gone; they’d just been buried, covered over with the habits and memories of happier times. Will and the Nightstalkers had cut through those, worn me down to the point where I was willing to do whatever it took to survive.

I looked up at Variam. “Will you help me?”

Variam nodded.