She hesitated visibly.

‘This time I want the truth, Mum.’

‘Not quite. He asked to be sent copies of all your childhood photos and I had to promise I’d keep him in touch with what you were doing, at school and – in general. I kept that promise by writing to his solicitor every quarter, but we didn’t take any money from him. And I refused to open his letters.’

‘He wrote?’

She nodded.

‘To you or to me?’

She hesitated again.

Indignation made it hard for him to speak calmly. ‘They were to me, weren’t they? And you kept them from me, never said a word. Mum, how could you?’

‘It’d only have caused trouble. He was godless, into drugs and whatever those people do. My parents warned me against going out with him, but I thought I could save him, help him. And … I loved him. They were right, though. He was beyond help. And my love wasn’t enough. Before we split up, he tempted me into sin. I’ve never forgiven him for that.’

‘Sin?’

She blushed. ‘Fornication.’ She seemed to forget Tom for a moment. ‘Why should I have passed on his letters? They’d have upset you. Who knows what he’d have tempted you into if I’d let him near you? I had to keep you safe.’

How Tom kept his voice steady he didn’t know, he felt so full of hot anger. ‘You should have given me those letters because they were addressed to me, Mum. And because he’s my father.’ He asked another question that had been puzzling him. ‘Did he refuse to marry you?’

Her blush deepened. ‘I couldn’t marry someone who didn’t share my beliefs. I just – couldn’t. He did offer, but I listened to my parents, thank goodness. What sort of life would I have led with a man like that, a man who refused to give up his music and settle down? It was a pity he insisted on being named as the father on the birth certificate, but he said he’d take me to court if I didn’t do that, so I had no choice.’

Tom couldn’t actually imagine his straight-laced mother making love, even when she was young. ‘You still shouldn’t have destroyed my letters.’

‘As your mother, it was my duty to protect you, yours to obey and accept my guidance. Honour thy father and mother.’

She’d always quoted the Bible to him, always expected absolute obedience. She’d given her only child a lifetime of love, yes, but a lifetime of restrictions too. What she’d done made rage boil up inside him and overflow. ‘I’ll never, ever forgive you for that.’

He stepped back, as far away from her as he could. He could understand now why people lashed out at others in anger. His father had wanted to see him, he’d been desperate to meet his father, and she had kept them apart all these years.

‘Son.’ She reached out one hand towards him, her expression pleading, her lips trembling.