You should have been the one married to Conner, she wanted to tell all of them, then you’d know.  Having acquired the first Elder’s daughter, the prize, as his wife, he pressed his bullying advantage relentlessly enough during the day, but when it came to the nights, he succeeded in nothing but alienating his bride with his boastful, angry, hurtful incompetence.  Finally, she said no.  It was as if he had never considered defiance, as if he had possibly never heard the word no before from a woman or anyone.  She said it again, quite clearly.  Shouted it, even.  When he grabbed her, meaning to exert his will, she sank her teeth into his hand, leaving him screaming, and escaped.  Cornered in the kitchen with nowhere to go, still she taunted him.  His fist came at her face hard, bone cracking against bone, knocking her to the floor.  The shotgun stood against the back door for the coyotes that were stealing the chickens.  She lunged at it.  Then he was on top of her, his knees digging into her legs, his hands on her throat.  I hate you, she said as her head jerked back, his thumbs pressing hard.  The look in his eyes said he hated her more.  Gasping for air, she wrenched the shotgun up between them and pulled the trigger.

It didn’t have to be that way, she’d thought since.  He made it that way, all or nothing, you or me and violence to settle the equation.  His was a disgusting, warped view of the world that had only him and his needs at its center.  Why couldn’t you see it? she wanted to shout at them.  Why didn’t you know what was behind that lying smile?

Flushed, her head throbbing, Charlotte put down the piece of sheet music and climbed shakily out from the back of the wagon.  There were oats for the horses.  Samuel placed great value on the care of his animals.  This would steady her, allow her to breathe again.  She filled the feedbag, attached it and led the mare over to the wagon.  Returning from under the shade of the elm to retrieve the team, she stopped dead in her tracks.