“Did you have to listen to every damn word?  Yes, the truth is I do.  Looking at her husband is like living that nightmare all over again and I think she knows it.  The people who don’t shy away from me, you wonder why not.  And she doesn’t.”

“So you’ve taken care of everyone.”

“Everyone that I can, and that’s not saying much.  I don’t even know the rest of them.”  Charlotte put down her plate.  “Why didn’t you tell Miller about women?”

“What?”

“He doesn’t know anything.  He should at least know something.”

“Do you get the feeling this conversation just ended?  Because I do.”

Now Charlotte was interested.  “Are you embarrassed?”

“I’m not embarrassed.  If you really want to know, I’m worried sick and completely, thoroughly exasperated.”

“Why?” Charlotte said.  “It’s only me.”

Ellis was on his feet, handing back his plate, wiping out the frying pan, putting out the fire.  “That’s what I was just saying.”

The call went out for the wagon train to move and suddenly she was vulnerable again.  This he could handle.

“We need to get going,” he said.

“We do.”  She couldn’t bear it if the wagons all pulled out and hers was left behind, still standing here alone in the quiet and dust raised up from the cattle.

“I’m not going to argue with you.  I’ll drive if you want.  If that’s not what you want, say so now.”

“You drive.”  She was suddenly very tired.

Ellis hitched up her team and tethered his horse and the mare behind.   “There’s one other thing.”

“What’s that?”  She couldn’t imagine what might be left.  She was done with all of this.

“We should say goodbye here, not out there.”

“Oh,” she said.  “Then goodbye I guess.”

She hadn’t counted on his reaction at all.  Ellis wrapped her in his arms and held her tight against him.  Then he kissed the top of her head.  For one brief moment, she wanted to collapse against him, lean into his strength rather than having to depend on her own.  Then the moment was over and the realities of her life came back to her.

“Thank you, Ellis.”

“I feel like I keep trying to apologize.  There’s nothing either of us could change, but I wish it had turned out some other way than this.”

“Wishing won’t do it.  Remember?  You’re the one who told me that.”

“You’ll be safe,” he said.

“I suppose I will.”

“Safe where is the question.”

Charlotte smiled up at him, her eyes brimming over.  “It’s an interesting question anyway,” she said.

Ellis couldn’t stand to even think about it.

14