She climbed out of the wagon.  No dawn was breaking.  The stars still hung in the sky.  Not wanting to step on anybody, she softly called out Ellis Gray’s name.  There was no answer.  She waited till her eyes found their way through the dark.  His saddle was gone along with all of his belongings.

If they were moving, having breakfast would matter.  She’d laughed then cried when she discovered while making the molasses bread that her father had pressed eggs and a jar of butter deep within the protective confines of the flour sack.  How he thought she was supposed to find them, she couldn’t even fathom.  Then she realized that her father had tried to anticipate every move she would make.  She wondered if the pain in her heart would ever go away.

Quickly she dressed and built a small fire in the dark.  She made enough pancakes and stewed apples to last the day.  As the sun inched over the horizon and the sky began to lighten, she made a decision.  She’d found the sunbonnet, white and ridiculously large with broad wings that completely cut off sight to either side.  She felt more like a cloistered religious in it than a prairie woman.  Last night she’d been determined to wear it, never wanting to see that hate in anyone’s eyes again.  This morning she threw it back in the wagon.  To hell with the husband.  To hell with all of them.  Well, almost all of them.

Fueled by her newfound determination, she entered the circle of wagons and moved among the horses till she found her own.  Men and boys performed the same chore all around her.  Some stared in the faint light.  Others glanced up and thought nothing.  At least no one came over and shook a fist in her face or spit on her, as she’d feared might happen.

Charlotte fed the horses their oats, backed the team into the traces and tethered the mare.  She could smell the offerings from other cooking fires and even a hint of the deep rich scent of venison still perfuming the air from last night’s feast.  All around her were the sounds of a camp breaking up and preparing to move on.  She climbed onto the wagon seat, as ready as anyone, but after that she had no idea what to do.

Ellis Gray rode up at the last minute.  She’d begun to see that this was how it would be with him, blank spaces of time, an appearance only when most needed.  She felt he winced every time he saw her.  He glanced at the ready wagon.

“You don’t exactly need looking after.”

“So the day of birth was the day of rest?” she said.

“They voted.  Have to keep moving to get where they’re going.  If they hit snow in the mountains, nobody has a prayer.”

“No, I know.  Just seems…”