He grimaces and gets to his feet. I rise, and the two of us stare at each other for a long second.

“I’ll see you at work, then,” I say finally. “But it really might be best if you kept out of my way for a bit.”

He nods and walks away. I stay in the corridor looking down at the tiny scrap of fabric on the floor. I hesitate for a second and then step over it to get to Charlie’s door. I get all the way into the hotel room before I swear under my breath and turn back to scoop up the cherry-red lace. I stand there for a long second looking down at it. My hand clenches around the knickers, the fabric scratching at my palm. Sudden hot thoughts run through my head, and I determinedly push them away. That way lies madness.

Charlie

I thank the nurse and make my way back to the waiting room. It’s a trip that I’ve done a fair few times this morning, as I’ve been submitted for a battery of tests. I’ve gone from nurse to nurse and been poked and prodded and stuck with needles. Freda, my epilepsy nurse, hadn’t been ecstatic at my missing so many reviews or to hear of the increased frequency of the seizures, but she didn’t scold, saying only that she’d see me at the end of the tests. It’s weird how threatening that sentence can sound.

So, here I am with another plaster covering a needle mark in my arm, making my way back to the waiting room where Misha sits patiently as he’s done all morning.

I look at his set face and the nerve ticking in his jaw. Well okay, not patiently, but he’s here, and I feel a rush of gratitude that I have him in my life. I’d woken this morning feeling groggy and shit, as is usual after a turn. He’d chivvied me out of bed, bundled me into my clothes, retrieved my bag which he’d packed in the night, and checked us out, all with minimal conversation. I got the impression that he was working quickly in case I changed my mind about going to the hospital.

I hadn’t though. Last night frightened me. The turn had got close to five minutes, and that’s dangerous, but it isn’t just that. I felt fucking worse than ever last night, and somehow by telling Misha the truth I’d opened up my mind enough to realise that I was putting myself in danger and inflicting damage on my body. All because I’ve been too frightened to hear the truth.