Doug ignores him and takes my arm. “Librarians are important,” he says emphatically. “They are the guardians of knowledge. The champions of the information highway. The gatekeepers of facts.”

“He works at a library in Southwark, not guarding the Tower of Sauron,” Misha breaks in.

“Shut up, Misha,” I say sweetly. “Doug is talking.”

“He’s talking wank,” he mutters.

Doug makes a choked sound, and I helpfully pat him on the back. He’s sweet if a bit intense.

“Just ignore Misha,” I advise him. “If it doesn’t feature on the Dow Jones index, it’s not happening.”

“How can I ignore someone who arranged for me to meet my prince?” Doug asks earnestly. “The man who may have changed my world tonight. Misha will be forever a friend of mine because of that.”

“Erm.” It’s the most intelligent syllable I can come up with.

Bethany is coughing behind her hand. Is everyone coming down with a cold?

“Thank you,” I finally say because absolutely nothing else is coming to mind.

Chaka Khan’s “Ain’t Nobody” begins playing down on the dancefloor, and I seize on the diversion. “I love this song,” I exclaim. “Misha and I always dance to this when we come here. Do you like music?” I ask Doug.

He looks soulfully at me. “Your voice is like music to my ears.”

“Doug, can I have a word?” Rupert shouts.

I’m looking around surreptitiously for any hidden cameras, when I’m caught by Doug’s limpid gaze. “Rupert is trying to get your attention,” I tell him. Rupert’s arms are windmilling about. “Rather enthusiastically too.”

He smirks. “Oh, I don’t have eyes for anyone other than you, you beautiful man.”

“Oh my God,” I say faintly.

Misha asks, “Have you been reading rather a lot of Mills and Boon lately, Doug? I don’t remember you being quite so flowery before.”

Doug shakes his head gravely. “Misha, meeting the right person makes every man a poet.”

“Well, thank goodness it’s never happened to me, then,” he says grumpily. “I don’t think I’ll enjoy sounding like a complete tit.”

“Ah, Misha,” Doug says heartily. “Are you sure you haven’t met the right person yet?” Misha stares at him, and Doug sighs. “In the future, I’m going to enjoy talking to you about tonight,” he says happily. “I will treasure it forever. It’s already evergreen in my memory.”

“Doug,” Rupert says heartily. “I really need you to look at something on my phone.”

“But, Rupert, is it wise to pull me away from my soulmate?”

“Not only wise, it’s quite essential,” Rupert says. His expression is somewhat grim as he drags Doug away.

I glance at Bethany. She’s become bright red in the face. “Are you alright?” I ask her.