She shrugged. “When I was fourteen, Zabron got it into his head that my agent training should be expanded. One day he drove me to a house in Morocco called the Golden Door. It specialized in training in sexual acts and specialties. Before he let me out in the courtyard, he told me how Russian agents called Sparrows were often sent to that house and became much more valuable agents for the experience. He said that it would help me survive in any situation.” She realized Korgan was cursing violently, and she stopped. “You don’t want to know any more?”

“The hell I don’t. I want to know how far the son of a bitch went to victimize a fourteen-year-old girl.”

“You couldn’t call me a victim. I wasn’t like other girls.”

“I’m sure you weren’t. How long were you there?”

“He said I had to stay two months.” She moistened her lips. “But it disturbed me, so I made sure that I learned everything I had to learn in half that time.”

“What disturbed you?”

“I could do everything they told me to do well, but I couldn’t stand the confinement or lack of choice. It made me…not myself. It…smothered me.” She shivered. “I’d never be able to be one of those Sparrows. I told Zabron I couldn’t go back there.”

“Did he give you an argument?”

“No, he said I’d learned what he’d wanted me to learn and I could go on to something else.”

“How kind of him,” Korgan said savagely.

“I told you he had his own agenda. I never expected kindness. I didn’t like that place, but it helped me to learn.” She looked him in the eye. “And it gave me something to offer you if I needed to.”

“Yes, there’s always that to consider.” His lips twisted. “You’re right, I don’t have any idea what your life was like.”

“Stop treating me like a martyr. It was just something I had to learn and then go on. It’s not as if I don’t like most sex these days. It’s just sometimes the other stuff bothered me.”

“I’m not even going there.”

“But Zabron was right about it giving me another way to survive. That was important to me.”

“And the bastard knew it was important and used it to put you through that.” His voice was fierce. “You’re so damn smart. Why can’t you see what he did to you?”