“Of course, but she’s handling it. She always does. I got more emotional than she did. I was telling her all the positive things that we had to hold on to, and one thing struck home.” She met his eyes across the room. “I said that we shouldn’t give up who we are and stop reaching out for joy and beauty because of all the ugly things around us. Wise words, but I wasn’t paying attention to them myself.” She moistened her lips. “Because I was nervous and afraid, and I didn’t quite know how to go about it. I might have even been a little intimidated.”

“Intimidated?” He shook his head and smiled faintly. “Not you, Alisa.”

“I’d agree with you, but not when it comes to you.”

“Me?” He was no longer smiling. “How did this get to be about me?”

“I don’t know. It just happened. We’re talking about being honest, and I have trouble being honest with you. You’ve always been my Achilles’ heel. Even Margaret realized that was true. I’ve been sitting here, thinking about it, and there’s every chance that intimidation was a big part of it.”

“You’re not making sense,” he said quietly. “What are you trying to say?”

“You’d know if you stopped putting up barriers. You can read me so well. It used to annoy and frighten me until I realized that it was just an integral part of who you are. Then it became comforting because it shut out all the loneliness.” She shrugged. “But you don’t want to read me now because what you feel for me is all confused, and you don’t want to hurt me. I’m not going to let you get away with that, Korgan. Because you’re cheating me of the joy I told Sasha we had to hold on to. But there’s only one way I can think to do it.” She put her cup down on the floor and got to her feet. “And that’s to not let you say no.” She came toward him. “And be honest and try to say the words that won’t make you push me away.”

“What the hell are you doing, Alisa,” he asked warily.