Midday, the judge surreptitiously called Matthew and ordered him to move to Laura’s cubicle immediately. That way it was as if he had been there all along. But for that call, I would’ve thought the judge dead. Her door remained closed all day. Even so, nobody dared speak or move. Nobody went to lunch. Hell, nobody went to the bathroom.

Then at 5:30, the judge emerged, walked into the clerk’s cave and announced to nobody in particular: “Kate is starting during the September sitting. She’s from the staff attorney’s office. She’s Jewish.” Then, just as quickly, she turned and walked out.

DING! Thirteenth floor, going down.

I took a deep breath but had to wait to exhale. Roy was before me.

“Dude, what’s goin’ on?” He nervously smiled and ran his chapped hands through his tame mullet. Its serenity somehow made him look at once scared and homicidal.

“Not much, Roy.” What else could I say?

“Hey, Roy, how are you?” Matthew asked, having just walked over. The question curiously stumped Roy. He startled cackling like a hyena and swaying back and forth. The effect was a bit troubling.

“Man”—back, forth, cackle—“she’s just such a bitch. Today, she told me my xeroxing was bad again,” he sniveled, waiting for the pity party to get rocking. He’d have to get jiggy elsewhere.

The judge had just convicted us of crimes committed by another—and in Matthew’s case, on his first day—and Roy was complaining to us that she criticized him? I didn’t have anything nice to say so I opted to not say anything at all.

“That sucks,” Matthew managed.

That’s all it took to whisk Roy back in time.

“Dude, I can’t wait until this weekend. It’s gonna rock. I’m training for the Battle of Hastings, which is incredible. Hey you ought to come watch! It’s in three weeks. And then on Sunday, we’re working at the Great Medieval Yard Sale.” That one silenced polite Matthew. Thankfully, Roy took a hint, giggled, and walked out. Matthew shot me a questioning look. I nodded, assuring him that, indeed, the whole episode had actually happened.

Moments after Roy blessed us with his disappearing act, Janet appeared. I felt like a hungover priest trapped in the confessional box. I wanted them all to go away.

“Did Laura really quit?” Janet was strangely excited.

I nodded. I couldn’t believe that she had to ask. Maybe she had actually been dead all day. It didn’t matter; Janet had definitely come alive.

“WOW!!! That’s a record. Five days!” she said, clapping ecstatically.

“Others have quit?” I was confused. I’d never heard of a law clerk quitting, let alone one of Judge Friedman’s. Janet sneered, clearly enjoying her newfound power of information.