"Please, Mom," he said as he held up a book, something about TV facts. "Let me talk. Besides, I didn't do that. See," he said as he tongued forward a wet pink mass, "I had bubble gum."

I cocked my head at him. "Arch, alibis are like food service. They have to do more than look good and hold up. They have to be palatable. And yours," I added, "doesn't even look good."

"Sorry, Mom," he said. "Really. I'll clean it up."

I wanted to open his head and look in, to see what he was really thinking, how he was dealing with everything. I wanted to say, Are you okay? And have him say, Yeah, Mom.

"Don't bother." I said. "I swept it. Just be more careful, all right?"

He nodded solemnly and said nothing. And then I turned away. I did not know what the right grieving behavior should be from a boy whose favorite teacher ever,

Laura Smiley, had only six days before slashed her wrists and bled to death.

-2-

I'm starving," said Patty Sue as she tiptoed into the kitchen in a ruffled pink housecoat the next morning. I finished slicing the strawberries and offered her a bowl. A lanky twenty-year-old who had a twig-like figure and the metabolism of an athlete, Patty Sue Williams had been my roommate since August tenth at Vonette Korman's request.

"She just doesn't have anywhere to live while she's here, Goldy honey," my ex- mother-in-law had said, "and she needs Fritz to treat her medical problems. Take her in for a while. Give her a job. She's never done anything out there in eastern Colorado except live with her folks. This gal wants to learn, Goldy. You can teach her."

This I had come to doubt, I reflected as I pushed down on lemon halves to ream out their juice for the lemonade. Patty Sue had been so sheltered by her parents that her approach to any new endeavor was timidity, confusion, or both. She had attended a local community college "for a while," she said vaguely, as if that, like everything else in her life, had not quite panned out. When she first arrived she had told me all about herself, including the fact that she was a virgin. Dr. Fritz Korman, John Richard's father and the other half of Korman and Korman Ob-Gyn, was treating Patty Sue for amenorrhea. Which meant she hadn't had a menstrual cycle for the last year.

"This is a bad thing?" Marla had asked at the last meeting of Amour Anonymous, our women's group.

"It needs to be treated," I replied. "Her doctor out in Fort Morgan sent her to Fritz, who claims to be some kind of specialist with it. It's serious enough that Patty Sue's mother let her come out and live with me, although she calls once a week to make sure I'm not corrupting her."