‘Please can you explain what on earth is going on?’ Fen asked.

‘And can you tell us what the jerseys are actually for?’ Pip interjected. ‘And why that gorgeous Dutchman took the yellow one from Chris Boardman today?’

Oh God, thought Cat, I don’t want to explain such rudimentary details. Not here, not now. Not at this time of night.

Not in front of Dr York?

What’s he got to do with it?

What’s the time got to do with it? It’s hardly late. What you mean is, you’d rather drink with your doctor than speak with your sisters.

Bollocks. He’s not my doctor. He’s physician to US Megapac.

‘How exactly do you win the Tour de France?’ Fen was asking.

‘Um,’ Cat replied, ‘what is it you don’t understand?’

Don’t turn your back on Ben, it’s rude.

Yes, but so is hovering. See? I’ve now turned my back and he hasn’t budged. It’s a bit – odd.

So move.

I can’t – it’s a bit odd.

‘What exactly is the yellow jersey?’ Pip all but whined.

‘Et le maillot vert,’ Fen said extravagantly, ‘oh, and that spotted one too.’

I’m not going to look at you, Ben. Stop it. I’m going to stare at your shoes and speak to my sisters.

‘At the end of each day, the race leader – the yellow jersey – is the rider who has spent the least amount of time in the saddle so far in the Tour,’ Cat said, trying to infuse her voice with a tone that would inform any eavesdroppers that she was having to assist some imbecilic person with no knowledge of the grand sport. She knew Ben was regarding her unwaveringly. For a split second, Cat wondered whether her answer had been wrong.

Go away, Dr York. This is not a good time. You’re off-putting.

‘And the green?’ Pip was asking. ‘Vert?’

‘Each day,’ Cat explained, ‘there are points to be won at hot spot sprints along the route, as well as finishing in the top twenty-five. The green jersey is thus for the most points, for the most consistent daily finisher. It’s the second most important accolade. Cipollini took sprint points along the way today, plus finished high – giving him green. Lomers has the fastest time – a further twenty seconds were deducted for him winning the Stage today – hence the yellow.’

Oh. Ben. You’re going.

‘So he’ll wear it tomorrow?’ Fen asked. ‘He’s winning?’

‘Who?’ said Cat, noticing that Ben was wearing a very nice polo shirt which caught his shoulder blades most becomingly.

‘The flying Dutchman?’ Fen prompted.

‘Yes,’ Cat expounded, ‘yellow is supreme.’

Is that the bar through there? Should I move in a bit?

‘And the dotty?’ said Pip, correcting it to ‘spotty’ to prevent insinuation from either sister.

‘Each day, the hills are marked according to their steepness,’ Cat explained most informatively. ‘Today, as yesterday, there were only fourth-category climbs. Climbing points are awarded to the riders reaching the tops first. Hence our David wearing the King of the Mountains jersey at this stage in the race.’