At some point, Vance sedated me, and that’s the last thing I remember about that day.

“So?” Hysteria holds my vocal cords hostage for a beat. “I don’t care if it’s been a month. He could have deployed a raft, made it to an island, or…something.”

Pity.

I despise that mask more than anything. Vance wears it now as he crouches in front of me. “They called off the search.”

A glacier fist squeezes my heart, and I want to scream against the agony. Pain floods my senses, burning my nose, pounding at my temples, coiling around my neck.

It’s too much.

I can’t do this.

The clock above the armoire counts the seconds in a stoic rhythm I can’t help but embrace.

Tick, tick, tick.

“Did you hear me?” Vance slides his hand into my hair, pulling my attention back to him.

“I heard you.”

“I’m so sorry,” he says, his tone a strangled apology.

“No.” I grind my molars, refusing to accept his words. “He’s coming home.”

“He’s gone.” Liam lets out an unsteady breath. “They both are.”

Clinging to denial, I glance at the bedroom door, convinced Sebastian will burst through it and tell me how this is all a huge mistake.

A terrible misunderstanding.

“He’s not coming back, love,” Vance says, reading my thoughts with unnerving accuracy.

The hands on the clock continue their relentless march, but time might as well grind to a halt. Blood rushes through my ears, muting the reality of this nightmare. I can’t accept what they’re telling me.

What if the rescue team didn’t search in the right spot?

What if the flight’s trajectory didn’t go as planned?

What if someone else rescued him, and he’s injured, or…or suffering from amnesia?

Tears prick at my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. If I break down again, Vance will only sedate me. I force myself to my feet and let the blanket fall to the floor. Grief boils inside me as I make my way to the windows where the vastness haunts me. Sebastian could be out there somewhere, a thousand miles away, washed up on some shore that’s hopefully not as cold as here.

He could be bleeding and broken, but alive.

He has to be alive.

The alternative isn’t an option. I have to believe he’s fighting to survive, counting on a heroic and miraculous rescue. He and Tatum are both relying on us to not give up.

Except everyone is giving up.

Liam’s words filter through my head, a mournful chant of inescapable truth. No matter how much I want to, I can’t unhear what he said.

He’s gone.

A hiccuping sob builds, and I shake my head as the tears I’ve been holding back cling to my lashes. “I can’t accept this.”

Vance clears his throat. “You have to.”