“Is my sister here? She’s waiting for her? I’m sure you know she’s a—”

“Yes, we’re aware and your sister is on her way.” Skov’s lips part to say something else, his hands on his hips and I can imagine the accusations. That I shouldn’t have kept my mother away last night. That I should have known she needed help.

That I’m part of the problem.

The corners of my lips are weighted down like the lead in my chest keeping me where I am until he repeats that I’m free to go.

“Thank you.” My whisper grants me a nod from the man and I mentally prepare to see my sister.

Remorse isn’t the word I’m feeling. It’s so much more than that.

I know what she walked into alone, dreading what she’d find.

People move about me in blurs of blue and white. The phone at the front desk never stops ringing. Somehow I manage to continue moving along, taking one step after another.

I speak at the appropriate times, thanking someone at the desk as I wait in the lobby.

Through the windows of the front doors, the parking lot is clearly in view. Several cop cars are lined up in front with an assortment of random cars on the left.

I can just imagine how the red and blue lights would have hit the house late last night. How they would have shined bright against the brick. All the while, my sister was alone.

The doors open and the freezing cold air blows in. There’s not a soul here I recognize.

I busy myself checking my phone. Texts from my sister, asking where I am and then others … all that would prove my sister didn’t know where I was or why my mother and myself weren’t there.

Texts from Cody. He was worried. It’s only then that I realize he would have gotten the news that my father was shot dead and my mother and I were missing.

The streams of texts and messages flood my soul with guilt.

What the hell is wrong with me?

There aren’t enough apologies in the world, but it’s what I start with: I’m so sorry. I’m okay, I swear, just shaken up.

It’s not a lie but it feels like it is. I don’t know what I’ll tell him when I see him. That’s the worst part.

As I’m holding my phone, a new text comes in. This time from Marcus.

I want you to meet me at an old barn.

The red barn on Cannon Road.

I respond:

I know it. Why there?

My father used to meet his friends there to work on tractors and other machinery. It was a hobby of his. I don’t have time to mourn the memories because two things happen at once.

My sister cries out, a purse dangling from the crook of her arm and her coat hanging from her shoulder as she runs toward me.

“Baby,” my mother calls out behind me and the two pass just to my left, hugging each other with tears streaking down their faces. I stand there alone, feeling my phone go off. Glancing down, I see it’s both Marcus and Cody.