| Pen: |
Keep recording, Mrs Mac. |
| Sue: |
But you’ve already written your story. I don’t need to transcribe your work. |
| Pen: |
I just wanna talk things through. Gives me time to think. |
| Sue: |
Okay. |
|
But I’m driving home this afternoon, so this’ll be a short session. I want to miss the storm. |
| Pen: |
It’s been rumbling out there all week, nothin’ will happen until tomorra, Mrs Mac. |
|
Trust me. |
| Sue: |
We’ll see. |
| Pen: |
So, what ya think of me story? |
| Sue: |
Loved it. |
|
Confronting though. |
| Pen: |
Yeah. It was confronting for me too. |
|
It made me think about a lot of stuff. |
| Sue: |
Like what? |
| Pen: |
Like … |
|
Who really knows me? |
| Sue: |
Did anyone come close? |
| Pen: |
Jack did and the Butcher. |
|
He’s an old family friend, the coolest bloke. |
|
And Jack, you know Jack. |
|
Benny Boy knows me but he wasn’t in my story. He’s not on social media. |
| Sue: |
Rob was driving the ute. |
| Pen: |
So? |
| Sue: |
That was powerful. Your brother was driving the car that killed you. |
| Pen: |
I had to write the Rob I know. It’s something he’d do. Rob gets out of control. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have heart. He’s got heaps. |
|
People don’t see it, that’s all. |
| Sue: |
He loves Nig. |
| Pen: |
He loves all of us except Dave. |
|
We stick together, Joey, me, Shaz and Rob. |
| Sue: |
It’s good to have support. |
| Pen: |
I know he’s a pain in the arse and everything but … |
|
He looks after us when things get rough at home. If Dave’s on a bender, Rob steps in every time. Dave’s got no hope if Rob’s there. |
|
You’d think Joey would step in, being the oldest but he doesn’t. Dave’s got Joey rattled. |
| Sue: |
Do you need to see someone? Talk things over? |
| Pen: |
A counsellor? Head doctor? Nah, school’s already done that. |
|
We’re good at looking after ourselves. |
|
What ya thinking, Mrs Mac? |
| Sue: |
Wasn’t it hard, writing about your own death? |
| Pen: |
Dying’s part of living. |
| Sue: |
True. |
| Pen: |
I’m not scared of dying … |
|
Are you? |
| Sue: |
Nah. But I’m scared of leaving loved ones behind. |
| Pen: |
Yep, me too. |
|
I don’t reckon Rob’s scared of dyin’. |
| Sue: |
You don’t think so? |
| Pen: |
Nah. |
|
Why would he go tarpin’ all the time and be so out of control with stuff if he was scared? |
| Sue: |
In your story, you got under the tarp? |
| Pen: |
So? |
| Sue: |
So, why? |
| Pen: |
I’m not fearless like Rob. |
|
I wanted to know what it felt like to go all the way. |
|
Just wanted to do somethin’ random and go for it. |
| Sue: |
And how did it feel? |
| Pen: |
Mrs Mac, it’s a story. Just words on paper. |
|
I shouldn’t ‘ve done it. I shouldn’t ‘ve got under the tarp. |
| Sue: |
Why? |
| Pen: |
Because me dyin’ would’ve broke Shaz’s heart. |
|
Dyin’ and leaving Shaz, my brothers and Nig behind is dumb and pointless. I’m still young, got things to do. |
|
And I think I’m bigger than that. |
|
I know right from wrong. |
|
You know … I feel physically uncomfortable when I’m doing something I shouldn’t. It’s a warning. My body warns me. |
|
I get why others do it. Why they keep pushing and why they get themselves hurt or killed. They don’t listen. |
| Sue: |
To adults? |
| Pen: |
No. |
|
They don’t listen to themselves. Ya body feels stuff. Even when I was writing that story, my body was reacting to the trauma. I felt sick writing about it. Even though I wasn’t actually there, I could feel it. |
| Sue: |
Deep! |
| Pen: |
I know. I only just worked it out. |
| Sue: |
Do you think we can stop others from tarpin’? |
| Pen: |
Nah, I don’t think so. |
|
I know Rob, he won’t listen. They’ve gotta work it out themselves. |
| Sue: |
You okay? |
| Pen: |
Yep. |
| Sue: |
So, what are you doing on the weekend? |
| Pen: |
Hangin’ with Benny Boy and Jack. Rob and them’ll be tarpin’. They’re trying to make it to Brisbane. No one’s made it that far yet … not even Dave. |
|
Might paint a few pictures … beautify the town. |
| Sue: |
Yeah, was meaning to ask about that. Why not paint something more attractive and meaningful? |
| Pen: |
Mrs Mac, don’t ya like me pictures? |
| Sue: |
They’re colourful. |
| Pen: |
Which means you don’t like ‘em. |
| Sue: |
Which means there’s lots of great things to paint and share with the world. |
|
Yeah, you’re right, I don’t like ‘em. |
|
So, why do it? |
| Pen: |
Well, here’s the answer. |
|
I paint them because … I can … |
|
And because it gives adults the shits … And because it makes people laugh. |
|
Before Jack rolled into town I was getting’ a bit bored with it but now it’s the coolest thing ever. |
|
Jack’s mum and gran are the funniest graffiti artists I’ve ever come across. But, you know, they can’t do it all on their own. They still need me. |
| Sue: |
Until you get caught. |
| Pen: |
I guess we’re fearless in our own way. |
| Sue: |
Is there a difference between being fearless and being reckless? |
| Pen: |
Is there a difference between being fearless and proving a point? |
| Sue: |
Apart from giving adults the shits and making people laugh, your graffiti doesn’t have a point. |
|
Which makes me think you’re only doing it for the likes. |
| Pen: |
Everyone wants to be liked. |