Does that make me weak and pathetic?

Do I have to give up myself to have love?

I feel wetness on my cheeks, and all of a sudden Raylan puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him, so my face is hidden against his chest. He’s doing that for me—because he knows I’d hate to have anyone see me cry. Even my own closest friends and family.

He knows me so well. He knows exactly what I need.

I remember what he said in Silver Run. I was so angry with him at the time. Now I wonder if he was right all along:

You’re happier here. This is where you belong: here, with me.

I’m afraid. But I want to choose Raylan over that fear.

* * *

28

Raylan

The wedding is the loveliest I’ve ever seen. I hope if I get married, it’s in a place like that, with only the people I love the most around me.

After the ceremony, we drink and dance and eat, until everyone is pleasantly exhausted, including Henry and the cantankerous baby Miles, who spits out his pacifier and begins to howl. Callum and Aida hustle him away at top speed, after blowing one last kiss to Dante and Simone.

Riona is quieter than usual. I don’t mind, ‘cause she still asks me to dance. We waltz around under the glass and the stars, the air full of oxygen from all the greenery. This time she doesn’t pull away from me—we dance in perfect tandem, our bodies pressed close together and her head against my chest.

After the ceremony we go back to the Intercontinental Hotel, where I’ve rented a suite for the night. I only hoped to sleep next to Riona—she just got out of the hospital, after all. But as soon as the door closes behind us, she jumps on me, kissing me with all her might.

I have to force myself to kiss her back with a reasonable degree of gentleness. I want to tear that dress right off of her. She’s been driving me insane all night, her skin looking as pale and bright as the moon, next to the rich darkness of the dress. Her hair is like a lava flow down her back, warm and smoky.

She’s never been more beautiful. It’s funny—we were in a room full of gorgeous women, but I only had eyes for her. Riona has a fierceness that grabs me and holds me fast. I want to know what she’s thinking and feeling, always. She’s both blunt, and a mystery. Strong and powerful, but also fragile.

And above all, she’s so goddamned sexy. She’s all over me with an intensity I’ve never seen before. Ripping my shirt open so the buttons pop off, tearing off my pants.

I lift her up and throw her down on the bed, equally desperate to have her.

When I kiss her mouth, she tastes of champagne.