I say what I should’ve said then: ‘David, this is my home and I’d like you to leave.’

He fixes his jumper around his shoulders, making sure each sleeve is dangling evenly. I don’t feel the urge to laugh.

‘She doesn’t really mean that, does she, Tommy? Mummy never really knows what she means.’

He moves to pick Tommy up.

‘David, put him down.’

Tommy is all harsh angles and held breath.

‘David, I said put him down, NOW.’

‘Ok, ok, less of the dramatics, Sonya.’

He laughs, puts Tommy down, tickles him awkwardly.

Tommy wraps his arms around his sides.

‘For all your talk of boundaries, you really don’t have a clue,’ I say.

He fixes his shirt collar.

‘Are you listening to me?’

His hand moves reflexively towards a worn spot on his jumper sleeve, his thumb circling.

‘I am asking you to leave.’

He makes no move. I look at Tommy, who’s kneeling, his arms around the animals. I speak softly.

‘David…’

He leans in closer. I know exactly what needs to be said and in what tone. Slow and deliberate, clearly articulated, space between each word.

‘We – Don’t – Want – You – Here.’

He draws back as if smacked. Something in his bearing has shifted. I have done it. It’s not the first time he has heard those words and they almost crease him in two. That flash of insight, almost blinding, and I see him as a boy, wearing someone else’s clothes. We don’t want you here. I have to stop myself jumping in there to make it better.

‘Sonya.’ He moves towards me.

I turn my face away.

‘You’re confused.’

‘No confusion.’ And it’s true: there are no warring voices, no conflicting impulses. There is no denying or minimising what happened. Instinct finally on track, intact.

‘I’m going to take Tommy for his shower, and by the time we’re finished I’d like you to be gone. Leave the key on the front table.’

‘You’re making a big mistake, Sonya. I will have to notify the authorities.’

A low humming sound buzzes in the air.

In front of my eyes, a spilling shadow, a shifting of form, of substance. I blink hard.

‘Yaya?’

‘It’s ok, darling.’

‘Sonya? Are you going to have one of your fits?’ David says.

I rub my eyes, turn to look at Tommy, who sticks his thumb in his mouth.

‘David, you know the authorities are never a good idea. You, more than anyone, should know that. You don’t want that route for Tommy.’

David puts his hand to his stomach as if to protect himself. All my creatures start to stir. I don’t try to stop them. I open my mouth to give full vent. They are silent, released peacefully. David looks about him, sensing a shifting in the atmosphere, confused. ‘Right, well…’ He goes to get his coat and bag, which are by the front door. ‘If you’re sure this is what you want.’ He stalls. ‘Not that you’re ever sure about anything.’