With all the Darcy activity going on, I had wondered if Ellie and Eddie were noticing any bad signs too. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one. I’m glad they are here.

Ellie stands up to go back to the passenger seat and sees me watching. “Want some snacks?” she says, holding up her own open chip bag.

“I’m okay,” I say.

Once Ellie’s back in her seat, I lean over the ledge of my loft. Ellie looks up at me, smiling.

“Hey, I’m texting updates to your parents,” she says, her thumbs hovering over her phone. I catch her glance over her shoulder at Ruth before looking back up at me. “Anything you want me to tell them?”

“Oh, just that I’m really glad you guys are letting me ride on the roof of the RV and I only fell off once.”

Eddie and Ellie both laugh.

“Won’t they be glad they sent you with us,” Ellie says.

Ruth adjusts her earbuds. I try to remember some of the things Darcy said that made her smile.

“Ruth?” I say.

She clicks something on her iPod and raises an eyebrow in my direction.

“When we get home, what if you dyed my hair? Not like yours, but, like, purple maybe. Just the tips.”

She takes the pen cap from between her teeth. “Mom would ground you and murder me,” she says.

Why is it so easy for me to make other people laugh, but not her? Why is it so much easier for her to use her gentlest, most supportive words on strangers rather than on me? My hands ball into fists before I realize it. Ruth is back into her music. I just want her to listen. To hear all the things I’m trying to say. For one terrible moment I see myself ripping the iPod out of her hands and throwing it so hard at the window the glass shatters. The image scares me like a daytime nightmare. I think about pouring cool water on the steam inside me. I try, try, try to envision it evaporating away.

Texas is rockier than I expected. There are white chalky hills, jagged like cliffs, barricading our right side. We stop in a tiny town to fill up the RV with gas.

“Last stop for a while,” says Eddie. “There’s not much between here and Fort Stockton, so if you need something, get it now.” We all head into the gas station.

There are two hawks circling above our heads. I come out of the gas station with a blueberry muffin and chocolate milk and watch them. Birds usually fly away too fast for you to really see them, but these two stay right above us, hanging on the wind. They make me think of fire dancers, with the sun and us as the center of their circle.