It doesn’t matter as long as he’s locked up, waiting to die. Nothing matters but setting him free.

Denise lets me go. “I’m not supposed to tell you this.” She looks down, taking my hands. “But I want you to make good choices. The only choice I ever had was in my head. I could decide to make the best of it or just die.”

She stops, keeping her head down, and squeezes my hands.

“Denise, just say it.” I assume she’s going to give me some advice about being married to a man who’s not fully right in the head.

She presses her lips together, snorts back her allergies, and shakes her head.

“You’ve lived outside.” She lowers her voice to a whisper. “And… Marco says…” A deep breath for courage. “Last night, he said Sergio thinks you’re going to try to run.”

She looks up. She wants me to deny I’d ever do such a thing. Say that there’s nothing out there but rapists and murderers. I’ve seen them with my own eyes. She wants me to say I’d never leave the Colonia.

“Why does he think that?” I ask.

“I don’t know. But he’s going to um… I guess limit your movement?”

“Hold me captive?”

“No,” she scoffs, letting my hands go. “I’m sure that’s not it. I figured it was just, like, you know… watch you. Stay close. Make sure you always have an escort. Like a queen.”

My skin tingles. My hands get hot. The insides of my thighs tighten.

I didn’t realize how much I’d counted on being able to escape at some point. It could still happen, but Colonia men have had generations of practice keeping their women where they want them.

“Sergio’s going to have to relax,” I say. “He can’t watch me all day and night if he wants to sit at the head of the table instead of Massimo.”

“True.” She still won’t look at me.

“You think my brother won’t hold it.”

She emits a little nervous laugh. “What do I know about that sort of thing?”

“That’s what Marco thinks.”

“He has an opinion, like most of them.” She snaps up a lint roller and runs it along the dress. “Ask me about that kind of business and I’m, like, useless.”

“You’re not useless.”

She rolls faster. “I mean to the men.”

This was drilled into us so deep I can feel her unearthing all my old feelings. I can barely drive. I can only use a very simple phone. I already forgot what half the kitchen buttons did.