“So am I, Darling.” Maris’s gaze softened as he cupped Darling’s face in his hands and forced him to look at him. “Don’t you know that you are my Zarya? You always have been. I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met and you took a beating for me. Would you really ask me to watch you fly out of here, knowing you’re going to die and do nothing about it? Really?”

Darling swallowed against the bitter lump in his throat. He’d always known how Maris felt about him. Just as he’d known that he was the reason why Maris had never been serious about anyone else. At times he’d taken advantage of that love and selfishly kept Maris with him when he shouldn’t have. Kept him by his side instead of allowing Maris to move on and find someone else to dedicate his life to.

Still, Maris had stayed. Even though he knew that as close as they were, friendship was all they’d ever have.

A part of him hated what he’d selfishly done to Maris just so that he wouldn’t be alone in his hell. So that he would have at least one person he could depend on without question or fail.

And he did love Maris. He did. But not like that. Not the way he loved Zarya.

Closing his eyes, Darling laid his hand over the one Maris had on his left cheek—the cheek that still bore the external scars that marred him soul deep. “The gods fucked us both, didn’t they?”

Maris took his hand into both of his. “I don’t think so. These last few years, I’ve been able to live with the only man I’ve ever loved, and I see him night and day.” He gave him a teasing, lopsided grin. “Having sex with him once in a while would have been infinitely better, but I actually don’t mind what we have. You own my heart, but I own a part of you no one else does. Not even Zarya.”

It was true. Because they’d been through so much, had protected each other and been there when no one else had, they had a bond tighter than marriage and friendship.

And it was eternal. There was never any fear of betrayal or abandonment. Never any doubt about how far the other would go to protect or shelter the other. One call and they would walk through the fires of hell. Side by side.

How many people could say that about their friends and family?

Even now, Maris was with him.

To the bitter end.

Maris winked at him. “Now let’s go avenge our lady and teach those bastards their manners.”

Reality came crashing down again. So swift and brutal that for a full minute, he couldn’t even catch his breath for it.

His soul screamed out again, railing against the gods who’d done this. But he wouldn’t cry. Not now. Tears were weak and Zarya didn’t deserve his weakness.