“True,” Darling said.

Maris hesitated. “What’s with that tone?”

“It’s not my place to say. I’m your friend and I’m here to support you with whatever you do. You know that.” Darling handed him a towel. “I think you’re going to need another shower, though. At the rate you’re sweating you’re going to drown your bride at the altar.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Really not trying to be.”

Maris had wiped his hand across his forehead and grimaced as he realized Darling was right. He’d run marathons in the deepest heat of summer and sweated less. “How do I look?”

“Your pants are too tight, and you look like you’re about to vomit.”

That had panicked him even more. If he threw up like some green coward, his father would never forgive him. “What am I going to do, Dar? I’m about to be married… to a female person with female body parts. I’m going to have a wedding night and…” Unmitigated terror had filled him at the thought of sleeping with his wife for the rest of his existence. It was all he could do not to cringe. “Can you be me tonight? Please?”

“Pretty sure she’ll notice.”

Damn him for being right. But Maris wasn’t quite ready to give up on that solution. “We could drug her and she’d never know the difference, that way we’d all be happy.”

Darling gaped at his suggestion.

“Think about it,” Maris said, really getting into the idea and all the possibilities that it would open. “We could. That way you’d have a woman and—”

“I’m not going to screw your wife for you, Mari. And I’m damn sure not going to drug her first.”

“Fine, you moral asshole,” he’d snapped in anger. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for his duties. “I’ve had to sleep with women before. I can do this.” But when he looked back at Darling, he’d seen the shadow in his friend’s eyes of some unspoken emotion. “What?”

“I am not going to tell you how to live your life, Mari. The gods know I’ve fucked mine up so badly that I wake up every morning hoping it’s all been one really long nightmare. But I keep seeing this as that one second when they handcuffed my mother to drag her away. That one instant where I screwed myself forever. If only I could take it all back or stop myself before I did it. And I keep hearing my dad’s words in my head, the worst decisions of your life will always be those that are made out of fear.”

“What are you saying?”

Darling hesitated before he answered. “My moment of supreme stupidity only impacted me. I was the one who was hurt by it, and I saved two people when I did it. But I’m the only one who’s had to live with the lie and be bound by it. I just want you to think about the fact that when you walk down that aisle and tie your life to Tams, you will be forcing both of you to live with it. She wants a husband, Mari. One day, she’ll want kids and they will be expecting a military father to train them. Are you ready to force your lie onto all of them and you, forever?”