She couldn’t even think of them without wanting blood. Especially Gerrit. While they had fought every day of their lives together, he’d died protecting her from their enemies. She winced at the involuntary image of him expelling his last breath before he went limp in her arms while she begged him not to die on her.

Or the look on her father’s face when she’d told him how Geritt died…

A part of her had always wondered if he hadn’t wished it’d been she who’d died that day.

To this day, the guilt of surviving an attack that had killed her brother haunted her unmercifully.

Yeah, life sucks for us all.

The tragedy of her own past was what allowed her to understand Darling so well. And it was what made her recognize the saddest truth of all—those events, as horrific as they were, were what had forged the man she loved. Without them, he’d be like the rest of the spoiled aristocracy she and the Resistance had been trying to overthrow. Obnoxious. Selfish.

Revolting.

Instead, he was a man worth dying for.

Pulling his shirt over her head, she paused as she caught his scent on her skin. It sent a rush through her body. There was nothing she loved more than that warm, masculine scent.

All he had to do was look at her and she was his.

Strange how she seldom saw his scars now. It was only when he slept in her arms that they were apparent to her. While he was awake, she was more focused on his eyes and quirky expressions and personality. So much so, that she barely noticed his physical appearance.

She turned the water on and regulated it. A smile curved her lips as she remembered Darling pinning her to the wall last night while the water poured over them.

Maris was right. He did have more stamina than anyone she’d ever heard of. Even after he’d fallen and bled all over this shower, he’d been unwilling to stop long enough to bandage his hand. Instead, he’d laughed about it and told her not to fret.

“I can’t feel pain and pleasure at the same time. So I’d rather focus on the latter and deal with the former when I have to.”

The man was nuts.

Trying not to think about Darling’s lunacy, she stepped inside to bathe.

Zarya lost track of time while she savored the warmth of the water, and washed her hair. She was just about to finish when the door opened behind her.

Ready to fight, she turned to confront her intruder.

Darling stood there, ogling her.

“Oh gods…”—she covered her heart with her hand—“you scared me. You need to make some noise when you move.”

“Sorry.” He leaned down to kiss her bare shoulder.

“So what did the doctor say?” she asked him.

Darling straightened, his features deadly earnest. “I’m going in for surgery day after tomorrow.”

Her heart clenched at those words and the fear they gave her. Why would he choose to do it so soon? “Are you sure you want to do this?”