Chayden sucked his breath in between his teeth. “That says it all.”

“Yes, it does… See you in six weeks.”

Chayden inclined his head to him and offered him an arm. “Walk with peace, drey.”

Hauk shook Chayden’s arm before he disembarked on his voyage to hell. And as bad as it was, the moment he stepped onto the stark, barren landscape, it worsened as old memories assailed him.

In the back of his mind, he could see himself as a boy, filled with excitement, jumping onto the surface near this very spot. Then, it’d been his father’s best friend who had dropped them off. Hauk had run ahead to start exploring while the sound of Keris’s laughter had filled his ears.

“Don’t get lost on day one, Dancer!”

“Yeah, yeah! You’re getting old, Kerry. Otherwise you could keep up with me!”

“I’ll show you who’s old…”

Dropping his pack, Keris had effortlessly closed the distance and tackled him to the ground. They’d wrestled for dominance, until his much older and better-trained brother had pinned him then tickled him until he’d pissed his pants. Angry, Keris had beaten him for peeing on him, and left Hauk sore for days afterward.

A sad smile curved his lips as bitter tears choked him. He’d give anything if he could go back and forego his test. Go back and exchange his life for Keris’s. He should have died that day. Not his war-hero brother who could do no wrong where their parents and Dariana were concerned.

Unlike him.

Since the hour of his birth, Hauk had been nothing but a disappointment to them.

Why did I live?

Honestly, he shouldn’t have, and he still couldn’t remember anything about those three weeks after he’d been injured, other than the intensity of that feral instinct not to die.

Broken and bleeding, he’d somehow crawled his way to their rendezvous point.

In the back of his mind and in every nightmare since, Hauk saw Keris’s wry grin as his brother had relegated himself to death. “Take care of Dari for me. Tell her I’ll always love her.”

Hauk involuntarily flinched as he saw Keris’s death flash through his mind. Heard the sound of his brother’s body falling and slamming as it made its way to the jagged, unforgiving ground.

There had been nothing he could do to stop it. No way to save Keris. His brother had given him his life at the expense of his own.

Now the best he could do was safeguard his brother’s child. No matter what, even with Darice’s attitude and mouth, he’d keep him safe. And the same for Thia. But for Nykyrian, he’d have died a dozen times over. Nyk had believed in him when no one else had. And he had seen Hauk through the grief of losing both Fain and Keris from his life.

As soon as Chayden was gone and the sounds of the engines had faded, he heard Thia and Darice fighting again.

Looking up at the sky, Hauk shook his head and let out an aggravated sigh. He’d keep them safe from others, all right, but before this was over, he might end up killing one of them himself.