Edwin doesn’t go with him. He’s never been allowed to be an irresponsible young man before and he’s gotten a taste for it. If June can stay in California, why not Edwin? He goes with his father, through a wispy fog, as far as the gangplank, terrified, almost certain that at the last minute, Father will refuse to board without him. Sure enough, there is some fuss about the baggage that makes his heart stop. Father asks a deckhand to carry his trunks. The man says that he won’t. “I’m no flunky,” he says.

“Then what are you, sir?” Father asks.

“A thief.”

In an instant, Father is in character, his favorite character—Bertram from the play with the same name. “Take my hand, then, sir,” he shouts, “for I’m a pirate.”

This makes the deckhand laugh, clasp Father’s arm, and haul him in. He hoists Father’s trunk into the air, balances it on one shoulder, leads Father below deck. The ship is called the Independence.

Soon Father reappears at the rail. Fit and flush, he stands with his hand raised as the ship steams away, quickly disappearing into the fog. Edwin stays until Father has vanished. He’s left with such a strange feeling, as if he’s forgotten something he should have remembered, but doesn’t know what it is. This feeling will last the rest of his life.

xvii

Edwin thinks he now has something he’s long wanted, a tomorrow unformed and unknown, and then another after that, and then another, all entirely his to choose. It’s exhilarating. It’s terrifying. It’s something only an eighteen-year-old could believe in.

He joins a troupe managed by two British newlyweds—Dan and Emma Waller—and sets off with them for the mining camps. His father’s friend Old Spudge travels with him. The Waller Company has respectable actors and big plans. But it’s a rung or two below what Father would find acceptable, a rung or two below what Edwin is used to. The Waller Company is not so grand they won’t do a tableau of the Bear Flag Revolt with a live bear. But it suits Edwin not to be compared to Father while he’s still learning his trade.

His sullenness left when his father did. He’s ready for anything, wild to have the sort of adventures he’ll live to regret.

The company plays in Yuba City, Nevada City, Hangtown, Grass Valley, Rough and Ready, Red Dog, and Shirt-tail Bend. There are two unmarried women in the troupe, both only slightly older than Edwin, but they make it clear that they prefer each other’s company to his. The Wallers behave like newlyweds, a level of cooing Edwin feels they are too old—well into their thirties!—and too British to indulge in. He spends most of his time with Old Spudge.