No questions, please no questions, he secretly prayed.

“It’s not really bottomless is it?” one big, surly and hot-looking guy asked.

“No, but it is a deep sinkhole dropping away further into the depths.” Ben looked over the heads, keeping his smile in place.

“Well, how deep?” From red and beefy, again.

“About one-thirty feet, or all the way to Hell, whichever comes first.” He winked, and started moving.

“Please walk carefully to the railing, but secure all loose objects.”

“Wouldn’t want then to end up in Hell, right?” said beefy.

Oh fuck off, Ben thought, keeping his smile tight.

The group moved quickly, almost rushing, even though there was enough room for twice as many at the railing.

“And please…”

There came the sound of a plastic bottle banging against rock, once, twice, three times, each strike getting fainter and fainter as it fell. Ben sighed. There was always some asshole who just had to drop something. He didn’t want to think how much shit was down in that hole by now.

He placed his hands on the light panel, and flicked the first switch – lights came on about fifty feet down. He cleared his throat, lowering the timbre of his voice to give it the right gravitas. “And down we travel into the very bowels of the Earth.”

Ben flicked another switch, and a light came on about a hundred feet down. “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” A few oohs and aahs let him know that at least some of the group were still impressed by nature’s wonders.

He hit the third switch for the final ring of lights, about one-thirty feet down, and so just up from the bottom. He compressed his throat, ready to speak in a baritone he knew would resonate in the stone chamber. He was set to deliver his lines about Hades and the Underworld when the red-faced guy had something else to add.

“Hey, Ranger Jorghansen, there’s sumthin down there.”

Ben groaned. Probably the bottle you just dropped, jackass, he thought, wishing he could say it out loud.

“And I think it’s coming u-uuup.” The big guy leaned out over the railing, straining to see down into the depths. “It looks like oil.”

“Huh?” Ben came down from his perch, and walked quickly over, trying to maintain his cool and his command, in case he was being pranked. Camera phones were being pulled out, ready, even though photography was banned in the caves.

“Hey, please don’t…” Ben knew the high intensity light could damage the mineral composition of some of the delicate formations. “That’s gonna –”

There was a yelp from one side of the hole, and then a short, sharp scream, before the crowd started to push back – hard. The people at the rear couldn’t see what was happening, so reacted slowly. The people at the front were still jammed in against the railing.

Ben started to increase his speed to get to the hole before there was an accident, but thought his eyes were beginning to play tricks on him – people looked to be leaping over the railing.