“Matter of experience,” Riley countered, absentmindedly watching the rodeo playing on the TV over the bar. “My family fell apart after my daddy’s death, didn’t want anything to do with me when they figured out I’m queer. Most guys I hooked up with were really only interested in getting in my pants; my first partner decided he preferred twinks after all, and the one guy who seriously rocked my world turned out to be a hit man for the Russian mob. Trust me; being on your own is safer.”

It was pretty simple, Riley had learned. As long as he was useful or unavailable, he was desired. The moment he stopped playing the game, he was discarded so fast his head spun. So far, the only one who’d broken pattern had been Misha, but, well. No rule without exception.

McClane was silent for a bit while he thought that over, never stopping his gentle ministrations.

Do you mind me much? he asked finally, something in his tone that made Riley speculate that maybe the alien had, for the first time, tried to put himself in his host’s position… and not much liked the perspective.

Riley shrugged, on the right side of drunk to go for honesty. “Not as much as I should,” he admitted.

Just because he’d eventually accepted how the world worked didn’t mean he had to like it or that he didn’t feel lonely or didn’t want to cling to the fantasy sometimes. Man was a social animal, not built for isolation.

Riley was no exception, and he was self-aware enough to know that, yes, he did feel the need to connect. He wanted someone to talk to when something was on his mind, to be able to let down his guard and trust someone to have his back while he rested, but he’d gotten kicked in the face too hard by

people he’d loved too much. It had screwed him up to the point where he couldn’t let anyone close. Except Misha, who’d fought for the dubious privilege with an unbelievable tenacity; who’d turned out to be a killer and a liar, unsafe, untrustworthy. Maybe this was why Riley didn’t have more trouble tolerating McClane’s presence. He was damaged and starved for contact, so much so he was willing to share his body for a little friendly company.

It was a delusion, of course. McClane would turn out to be a monster after all or leave like everybody else the moment he found someone more suitable to inhabit. Riley just had to keep in mind that was a good thing and not get too attached. Heh. Attached. Didn’t get much more attached than this, did it? Flesh and bone and mind, close as two beings could be.