“Basically, yeah. But I don’t want to hurt Becky. She’s a great gal, and she’s had a lot to deal with.”

“May I be blunt?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Have you ever been otherwise?”

“Very funny. So here’s my take. When I set you up with Becky, I was convinced there was potential. But I’ve watched you over these past few months, and something’s missing.” She took a sip of tea. “Did Jeff ever tell you I was seriously dating someone when I met him?”

He blinked at the non sequitur. “No.” What little he’d known about their courtship had been shared through spotty emails over very long distances. His brother hadn’t been the type to write lengthy messages.

“Well, I was. Had been for close to six months. Then one night, at a party, Jeff walked in and I short-circuited. I tried to fight the attraction. Told myself I already had a good man who’d make a fine husband and father. Asked myself if I wanted to let that almost-guaranteed future slip through my fingers because I had the hots for this new guy.”

“Since you and Jeff got married, the answer is obvious.”

“It wasn’t at the time. I agonized over the decision. And Jeff didn’t try to sway me. After he realized I was involved with someone else, he backed off. He may have had his faults, but poaching another man’s girl wasn’t one of them.”

Her features contorted, and Nate covered one of her hands with his. Repeated what he’d told her too often to count. “I’m sorry, Kathleen. If I could change what happened, I would.”

“I know that, Nate, and no apology is necessary. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault . . . except Jeff’s.”

“Yeah.” He wanted to believe that, but it was impossible to shake the guilt, however misplaced it might be. If he’d mustered out a few months earlier, been around more, he may have been able to—

“Don’t do that to yourself.” Kathleen’s expression grew fierce. “I know what you’re thinking. I’ve battled the same what-ifs. If anyone was responsible, it was me, not you. I was here. I knew there was an issue.”

“There was always an issue.”

“I knew that too. I just never imagined it would have deadly consequences.” Her voice hitched. “I loved him, Nate. With all my heart.”

“I never doubted that. I don’t doubt it now.”

“Despite my engagement to Luke?”

“I’m glad he came along.”

“Do you mean that?” She searched his face.

“Yes.”

“I want you to know I never expected to meet anyone else.” Her words shook.

“You’re too young to spend the rest of your life alone, Kathleen.” He squeezed her hand. “And I wouldn’t want you to let the past dictate your future.”

“I appreciate that.” She squeezed back. “And if you decide you want the farm to stay in the family, Luke and I—”

“It is in the family, Kathleen. We’ve been over this already. I never wanted to be a farmer. You know that. I was glad to sell my share to Jeff, and I’m glad you and Luke will be the stewards going forward.” He retracted his hand. “We’re way off the subject.”