“I was going to get some beer…and toilet paper…”

He wanted to break into floods of tears. He didn’t care if people saw. He didn’t care what people thought. He just wanted to cry and let everything out.

Even though he had known that it was going to happen in the end, nothing could prepare him for the feeling of heartbreak.

I thought he only wanted me.

They had been together everyday so he had believed that Yuichi had only wanted him.

Even if they had to break up sometime, it hurt to see Yuichi cheating on him.

“I’m such an idiot…”

The tears wouldn’t come. He wanted to, but he just couldn’t cry.

However upset he was, however painful things were, he had never cried. He didn’t plan to cry now, either.

“You have a feminine face, so you can’t cry and make everyone think you’re a fool.”

His strong-willed mother had always told him that.

He looked weak on the outside, but he was strong inside. He was her child. His mother was so proud of him for it.

When he lost in an argument, she wouldn’t let him in the house. If he cried she would tease him for being a girl and not make dinner until he had stopped.

So however painful, however sad things got, he had learned not to cry.

He didn’t want to be a girly crybaby.

Surely I can cry now?

My heart hurts. It hurts so bad.

When that pain reached his eyes, the tears were going to come flooding.

Yuichi should have been at home or at school. Kanae didn’t know what Yuichi had been doing here. They had always been together at every available opportunity, so he was pretty sure that there was no one else in Yuichi’s life.

Kanae had thought that Yuichi had class, but then again, Yuichi was well practiced at ditching.

Kanae wondered how long Yuichi had been meeting up with that girl.

How many times in the past two months?

He didn’t feel like he’d been betrayed or cheated on. He was just sad.

So terribly sad. He felt like his heart had been ripped in two.

In the past, he didn’t mind being alone.

That was before they had been dating. When Yuichi had been playing around. When Yuichi had always had a girl.

He hadn’t been confused then.

But now…

“Why is he so greedy…”

Why can’t he be happy with me?

Why does he have to have other people?

Couldn’t I satisfy him enough in bed?

Is he bored already?

Does he want to end things?

Questions he wanted to say but couldn’t flooded into his mind.

How could I have come to think that he was mine alone?

“You’re so cute,” Yuichi had told him, softly.

Maybe they’d gone to a hotel.

Maybe all the sweet words Yuichi used with him were now being used on her.

Yuichi had told him he was sexy, and teased him so much.

Did he make love to her in the same way?