“You know, you’re right, I won’t get sick anymore.”

“You won’t?”

I shook my head and told him when you die, you can’t get sick.

“Me too?”

“Everybody, honey.”

“Everybody won’t get sick?”

“Not after they die.”

“How do they die?”

Lots of ways, I told him. Leo was quiet a moment, then he cocked his head and asked if I was going to die like the pretty leaves.

“You can look at it like that.”

“But I don’t want you to turn orange.” He laughed and I put my hands on his hips, my fingertips almost touching. I said that people die different, that they just lie down one night and don’t wake up. Their body stays, but their spirit flies away. He was quiet for a half minute, then he perked up. “So you’ll come back to your body when the snow’s gone? Like the leaves?”

I hugged him and I didn’t think I could continue, but Jimmy was washing dishes in the kitchen and this was as good a time as any other. I kissed my son on the forehead and held him at arm’s length. I looked right into eyes that may as well be mine and I told him how we bury our bodies so they can help the ground grow the trees that grow the leaves. I told him he didn’t have to look so scared because it doesn’t hurt. It’s like being real sleepy and cuddling up under warm blankets. When you wake up, your spirit is in another place.

“But when will I die?”

“After a long happy life, honey.” I wanted to tell him more, tell him not to worry, our lives are over before we know it. I wanted him to know I’ll be back to see him in whatever way I can, but his big eyes showed just how saturated his little head was, so I stopped there. Jimmy stood in the doorway drying his hands on a dishtowel. I don’t know how much he heard. He looks so handsome with his new mustache, and it was that I concentrated on.

“When are you going to die, Daddy?”

“Not for a long time, goofy.” He looked at me, his eyes suddenly wet.

This morning I woke up weaker than I’ve felt in days. Jim dressed Leo and cooked us all scrambled eggs and toast. I sat near the window, had tea, and watched them eat. It came to me then that my time is very short. And I’m convinced the approach of my grand exit was hastened by my talking with Leo last night. That was the last and most precious bag to be packed. I’m free to go.