“Me too, Jim. I was sixteen when Papa died.” It was the first time all night we let our eyes linger. I was meeting that other half of me that was a man, I was sure. Him too, the other way around. And how could we have heard tell that four years later our mothers would die a week apart, mine in San Antonio, his in Amherst, Massachusetts? Mine of lonesomeness, his of high blood pressure. Leo was such a sight at Ma Suther’s funeral. He was big at three, with a thick head of hair and my eyes, Jimmy says. I had nothing fitting to dress him in so I checked with Jim first, then drove to Springfield and bought that tiny gray suit with the clip-on bow tie. He already had a white button-down shirt. I dyed his shoes black, and Jim polished them up when he did his own. At the funeral home in Amherst, Leo found a spot on the flower arrangement bench behind the casket. He sat between morning glories and dahlias and stayed there the whole time in his suit, his little face resting on his hands as he watched the legs of the grown-ups file by the coffin.

Oh, I cannot put off talking with him much longer. I will talk about heaven and love and how fast time can seep by, and more love.

Leo read ahead. He could see she was getting back to her first date with Jim and he wanted to know the rest, but he wanted the whole notebook to last too. One thing he knew already, though: they got married in October 1948, and Leo was born that next summer, and Jim went off to war the summer after that.

He thought of the war that was going on now, the one his best friend was going to out in Cong Land. Then he thought of Allie. That night she was over for dinner, she had liked Katie Faye’s poems and pictures so much. He wanted to show her this stuff, too. Then he didn’t. He didn’t know why, really, he just didn’t. But still, he wanted to see her. Maybe he’d catch her hanging around downtown not far from the police station, where he was about to go, or up at the hospital, where he was headed next. Mrs. Donovan didn’t say anything about staying away from the hospital, and it was time for Leo to visit Chick for himself. Short of Katie Faye Hewson Suther, there was no one else he wanted to see.

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