Ben’s life could be summed up in this image: a vast network of safe spaces connecting all seven billion people on earth, and him standing alone on the outside, in the last remaining unsafe space. Daniel gave him a baleful glare and turned to follow Ms Agostini.

‘Daniel?’ Ben said.

Daniel swivelled. Ms Agostini was giving Ben evils.

‘R U OK?’ Ben hoped Daniel could hear it was letters, not words.

Daniel gave him a horn sign. Ben blushed with happiness.

A few minutes later, Uncle Carl shambled out of Ms Oxenford’s office.

‘What did you do?’ Ben said.

‘Tell you later.’

Uncle Carl tried to step past him. Ben moved into his way. If Ben knew anything, it was that Daniel and Uncle Carl had to be kept in separate safe spaces.

‘Um, can we wait? Ms Oxenford might want to talk to us again.’

‘She doesn’t.’

‘What?’

‘She doesn’t.’

‘Oh. Um … ?’

Ben counted to ten in his head and tried to look ill, but Uncle Carl charged into the corridor. Phew, Daniel was nowhere to be seen. They made it to the school gate, but Ben had caused so much delay, the bell rang just as they got there and boys began barrelling out. As Carl searched his pockets for his car key, Ms Agostini came up, deep in conversation with Daniel. Uncle Carl’s face twisted, he mumbled to himself, then he advanced towards Daniel and Ms Agostini.

‘You don’t want to make things worse, Mr Chidgey.’ The principal’s assistant was holding up a flat palm like a stop sign.

Ignoring her, Carl said, ‘You weak little cunt,’ his throat thick with emotion. What did Uncle Carl and Daniel have to do with each other? Ben was outside a pretty important loop here.

Daniel did not respond with his usual smart one-liner. Instead, he cowered behind Ms Agostini.

‘Please,’ Ms Agostini said, ‘just take Ben home, and we’ll deal with what happened through the proper channels.’

Uncle Carl was such a balled-up mass of intent that Ben thought he was going to launch himself through the air at Daniel. But a car pulled up, and Ben saw Daniel’s father, Mr Abottemey, pointing his phone camera at Ben, then at Daniel, then at Uncle Carl and Ms Agostini. Carl pulled Ben away. Mr Abottemey continued pointing his phone at them.

Once they had made it into Uncle Carl’s Camry, Ben said, ‘What happened?’

Carl gave a dry chuckle. ‘When we were kids at Bluebird High, your headmistress was the same interfering busybody she is now. Born for that job. Always looking for “solutions” to “problems”. She had so many solutions, she had to go around inventing problems.’

‘Is there anything wrong with that?’ Ben didn’t want to be on Ms Oxenford’s side, but he couldn’t see what Carl was getting at.