When he shuts the door behind him, I move closer to Alice’s bedside, slipping her cool fingers into my hand. It takes a moment to find my words. I struggle twice before they come.

“I’m so sorry, Alice,” I whisper, voice cracking. “This is my fault, my… my arrogance, that did this to you.”

Silence. Another wisp of silver-blue rises from her open mouth.

“William says that coma patients can hear you,” I whisper. “I don’t know if anyone has told you what happened after”—I swallow around the lump in my throat—“after Volition, but I can. I know you’d want to know.”

I take a deep breath and nod, putting the pieces together for myself, then I tell her everything that happened, both in Arthur’s dream and ours.

Voices pass us by in the hallway outside. I wait for them to move on before continuing with what I’d learned in the last several hours.

“As soon as Erebus arrived at Volition, Nick felt Sel’s murderous intent through the bond. It was so strong that Nick called Gill from one of Isaac’s throwaway phones, freaking out, and demanded that she come get him. They picked him up near Sapphire Valley but didn’t know where to go. Fortunately, when Erebus and Cestra left you and William and Sel at Volition, they left Lark, too. When he called the Lieges to say that we’d been found, they told him Nick was already with them.” I gnaw on my lip. “Things got worse when Arthur shoved me away and attacked Sel. All of the murderous intent Nick was feeling through the bond just disappeared. Nick thought Sel died.”

I try to imagine what it would be like to feel Sel’s rage for almost your whole life, recognize it like your own, then suddenly feel… nothing.

“Sel woke up not long after everyone figured out where the Regents had taken me. The Lieges and Nick got here first, but Lark, Sel, you, and William arrived not long after. Nick attacked in full armor just as the lead Morgaine, Ava, was going to kill Arthur. Forced them all to stand down until they could get Arthur out of my body. The Regents and Seneschals had already escaped.”

I shudder. “And well, the rest is… the rest was its own kind of bad, I think.” A pause. “But also… its own kind of incredible. Because Nick and Sel saved me, and then I saved us.” Another pause as I frown. “That doesn’t sound right; it wasn’t a good thing.”

I wait another beat, and realize too late that I had been waiting for her to jump in. Make fun of me. Ask questions.

My eyes burn with tears. I don’t know if Alice will ever wake up again.

I squeeze her hand and drop my own back to my lap, where the metal pieces of Excalibur sit wrapped in cloth.