He leans forward, holding his palms over mine, letting the tips of the flames just kiss the undersides of his hands. After a moment, he finds my gaze and keeps it. “Your power is intoxicating, as are you. I was ashamed because as soon as it was gone from my system, I wanted it back. Craved it—and you. It wasn’t… right.” He breaks our gaze, glancing down. “Can you…?”

“Yes, sure.” I sit up straight and curl my fingers in. “I can pull them back inside at least….”

I visualize withdrawal, the flames returning to my chest. We watch as they grow dim, then slip back beneath my brown skin.

When they are gone, Sel looks over my face. “Eyes still glowing red.”

I groan. “I bet. I can still feel the power-up from the circle. My veins feel hot.”

He reaches a thumb to my cheek. “And you are still crying.”

“Ugh.” I scrub at my cheek. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“What do you feel right now?” he whispers.

I look up at him, at his golden eyes so concerned, intense as always. “What?”

“What are you feeling?”

I blink once, twice. “I feel horrible? Embarrassed. Ashamed, like I’m not ready to go back there and face everyone. I feel terrified, and I just want… I just want to feel—”

“Safe?” he asks.

I gulp, but don’t deny it. “Yeah. I want to feel safe.”

A sad smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “I thought you might.” He reaches into his back pocket, and produces my pin.

I stare at it, closed in his palm, and realize what he’s suggesting. What he’s offering. I pull inward in shame. Sel’s hand cups my kneecap, holding me in place. “It’s all right, Bree. I’ve already told you. I want you to feel safe.” He gently tugs my tear-stained hand forward and flips it over, pressing the closed pin into my palm. “If that means being with him right now”—his brows lower and tighten together, swallows audibly—“then so be it.”

I am not sure what to say. The last we saw Nick, he’d killed someone. I don’t know what I’ll say to him when I see him again, but I know my heart wants him near. I pull the Pendragon coin out from under my shirt.

Then I catch my reflection in its silver surface. Glowing red irises, just like Sel said. Just like Valec had seen that night on Miss Hazel’s porch. I swallow, wondering what could be possible right now that might not be possible ever again. Wondering about genetics and epigenetics, root power and streams.

“Do you feel safer with him too?” I ask quietly.

Sel studies me, surprised at the question. “I…” He releases a heavy sigh, and a confession. “Sometimes. Safer. More whole.”

“Do you trust me?”

His head jerks up. “You know I do.”