“After we what?” He looks up, fixing me with a bright, fierce stare. His frustration at close range hits me full blast. An involuntary shiver runs down my spine. Sel chases the slight movement, leaning closer to watch my physical response. Then his eyes meet mine again and for a breathless moment, it is like we are back on the balcony, or dancing together at the gala. Molten gold floods my vision, and the something between us ignites like electricity.

“After we what, Bree?” This time he wields the shortened version of my name like an axe, slicing our connection.

I squeeze my eyes shut. When I open them, he has leaned back. He’s looking away from me and out the window, already moving on. “Erebus has already levelled the charges. Every Merlin in the world will know what I’ve done by now. If I am caught, they will bring me directly to trial.”

“A trial that shouldn’t even be happening, because you’re innocent.”

“No one has ever called me innocent before.” He smirks. “You sure you want to be the first?”

I look away. He’s mocking me now. “Well, you are. At least in this case…”

He lifts a shoulder. “I was going to plead guilty.”

My head snaps around. “Why?”

“Because I am guilty.” He balls his fist. “You never could just… let truth sit and consequences come.” His voice is a low, damning growl. “I would plead guilty to every single charge, because I am guilty of every single charge.”

“But, Sel—”

He holds out a hand, counting. “Negligence? Guilty. I took Oaths on my life to protect the chapter from any and all threats. I knew something was wrong weeks before Rhaz and Davis showed their true faces. I knew it and reported nothing.” Another finger raised. “The isel I killed at the Quarry the first night we met? Entered through Rhaz’s Gate. The uchel Lord Davis let in the night of the Oath? Davis’s Gate. I should have captured and interrogated both demons about their origins. Instead, I—”

“Stop,” I plead. “That’s not fair.”

“Why stop when I can keep going? Five more lapses in judgment to go.” He bares his teeth. “How about letting you and Nicholas out of my sight at the gala? Leaving you two in that room alone”—he raises a brow, a knowing glint in his eye—“undefended and unaware of anything around you save each other…”

“Stop it.” My cheeks flame at all that he leaves unsaid, at the heady whoosh of remembrance. Of the charged air in the anteroom after I’d accepted Nick’s offer to become his Squire. How he’d held me. Kissed me.

“Is that kiss a bad memory for you? Oh my.” Sel tilts his head, frowning for effect. “That is unfortunate.”

“Shut up. You’re trying to make me angry. It won’t work.”