“What about her? She doesn’t understand, either.”

“But she has to understand that her getting sick was . . . accidental. She can’t punish everyone else for it.”

“She has to understand, but they don’t?”

“It’s happened to her, not to them. I realize it’s hard for her, very hard, but—”

“I would think your first loyalty would be to your daughter.”

“It has nothing to do with loyalty.”

“Were you ever confined to a bed?”

“That has nothing to do with what I’m saying.”

“It has everything to do with what you’re saying. I’d think you’d be a little more tolerant. She’s sick, she deserves to be indulged a little. If it makes her upset to see those kids out there, then I don’t see anything wrong with making them stay away.”

“She has to learn she can’t have everything her own way.”

“You mean the way you have?”

That remark sliced deep. “If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me very well.” I left him there and went down to start supper.

I breaded the pork chops, peeled the potatoes, and didn’t start to cry until I got to the salad. Then I felt his arms slide around me and his lips graze my ear.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t. Just leave me alone.”

He held me tighter. “No, I won’t leave you alone. You’re going to let me say I’m sorry, because I mean it.” I turned and he held me against his chest. “I do love you,” he said. Then, kissing me: “I’ll set the table. We’ll use candles tonight.”

He took down the dishes and was fishing for the silverware when Regina’s voice shot in from the living room.

“Daddy, a piece of my puzzle is gone. Come find it for me.”

“Coming, pumpkin.” He squeezed my shoulder and said, “Be back in a minute.”

I finished the salad and set the table and called them both when everything was ready.

He forgot about the candles.

The end of the school year was punctuated with the assassination of Bobby Kennedy and a massive anti-Vietnam rally at the university. Frank took part in the rally and got the expected reprimand from the university president’s office. Accompanying the reprimand was a clear-cut threat that any further activity of this sort would jeopardize his position on the faculty. He was undaunted, but I was frightened and told him so. I agreed that the protest was honorable, but I didn’t want him to lose his job because of it. There was a great deal of freedom in the university newspaper, but unsponsored rallies and spontaneous gatherings were prohibited on university property. Until there was a softer policy, I wanted Frank to adhere to the present one.

The day of Kennedy’s funeral, Frank used our living room for a kind of wake. Bernie Golden and another professor were present, along with a dozen students. I was on tenterhooks the whole evening because I thought somehow this meeting was going to violate a university rule. And if that didn’t happen, I figured a neighbor might call the police. And frankly, I was intimidated. Everyone in the group had taken up the badge of long hair—and there I was with my pageboy and bangs. One girl with hip-length friz and jungle-loop earrings looked me over suspiciously when I came down from putting Regina to bed. She eyed me several times while I sat silently at the edge of the group, and once she stared outright until I stared back. A few minutes later, she reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out three joints and held them up triumphantly.