James introduced his aunt and Merriot introduced a man at his side.

‘This is my colleague, John Cooper-ffrench.’

Cooper-ffrench was a stocky, fierce-looking man wearing a Homburg and grey suede gloves. He had a wide, bullish nose, deep-crimson skin and a fussy little moustache.

‘Mister Cooper-ffrench is president of the Latin Society here at Eton,’ Merriot explained.

‘James was just telling me that he doesn’t see the point of studying Latin,’ said Charmian and James broke into a nervous sweat.

‘Oho, doesn’t he now?’ Merriot’s eyes widened with mock amazement.

James tried not to blush.

‘And I’m afraid I’m with him on that,’ said Charmian.

‘Poppycock!’ Cooper-ffrench barked, his voice croaky and hard-edged. ‘I couldn’t expect you to fully understand, madam, but I can assure you that Latin is the very root and foundation of our great English language. Without an understanding of Latin, how can a boy ever hope to be truly eloquent? Perhaps it is not so important for women, who need not concern themselves with these matters, but for a man to get on in the world, the study of Latin is absolutely vital. No man can consider himself educated unless he is fluent in the language.’

‘Oh, please don’t get me wrong,’ said Charmian politely. ‘I think the study of language is a fine thing. I myself speak five, and I’ve come across more varieties around the world than I could count, each one fascinating in its own way.’ She paused for a moment and smiled at the beetroot-faced master. ‘But, come along, Mister Cooper-ffrench, do you really think that in this day and age the most important thing a boy can learn at school is Latin?’

‘I do, madam,’ Cooper-ffrench snorted, his face growing redder by the minute. ‘Why, if I had my way, a boy would be taught nothing else.’

‘Would a knowledge of Latin help James if he were shipwrecked?’ said Charmian. ‘Or if he had to escape from a burning building? Would a knowledge of Latin help him if he was faced with gangsters, or diamond smugglers or a madman with a bomb?’

‘Really, Miss Bond,’ said Cooper-ffrench with a patronising chuckle. ‘You mustn’t let your feminine imagination run away with you. This is Eton. I hardly think this boy, James Bond, is going be living a life of high adventure. Why, I would think a career in banking more likely, or insurance or perhaps the law, where a knowledge of Latin is essential. I am not just talking about the language, however, but also the civilising influence of the culture.’

‘Oh, but Mister Cooper-ffrench,’ said Charmian sweetly, ‘the classics are chock-full of stories of gods coming down to earth in disguise and ravishing women. Though perhaps you think that’s all us women are good for?’

‘That is a gross misrepresentation of the classics,’ said Cooper-ffrench.

‘The Romans were a thoroughly rotten bunch,’ said Aunt Charmian. ‘Their emperors were forever killing each other. In the fifty years between AD 235 and 285 they got through twenty of them! So I hardly think these are the people who should be showing us how to behave in a civilised manner.’