Stony laughed. "You're sick, Chubby."

"Yeah, I'm sick." He motioned for the waitress, held up two fingers.

"Ninety-nine percent a the time a woman cheats, she does it to get her man jealous. Women love violence. Especially when it's over them." Two more shots were brought to the table. "How many times you think Cheri came tonight watching you guys duke it out?"

Stony was horrified. "You're really outta your tree, you know that?" His face was flushed. "You don't even know Cheri."

"Yeah, well I know that look she had on her face. There was four guys fightin' over her ass. That was prob'ly her first gang bang. An' I'll tell you something else, you're a schmuck for not hangin' around after it was all over. You prob'ly missed the greatest lay of your life."

Stony groaned and banged his head on the table.

"You got a lot to learn about women, kiddo. They're killers." Chubby lit a cigarette and chucked Stony on the chin. "You got time."

"Maybe I should go back?"

Chubby wrinkled his nose. "Too late. You gotta have timing with things like this. Chalk it up to experience."

"Experience means mistakes." Stony took a cigarette from Chubby's pack.

"So chalk it up to mistakes." Chubby reached for Stony's drink. "You know, don't get me wrong. Stones. I don't mean you gotta be like an animal all the time. Women dig tenderness too. The trick is to know when the recipe calls for garlic and when it calls for sugar. You know? You gotta use psychology. You gotta get 'em to relax, you gotta get 'em comfortable, you know? Put on some nice music, dance a little, make 'em a drink, get 'em to take a bath with you. You know, get intimate ... like they don't even know they're gettin' laid, but don't make 'em too comfortable. Girls like to be a little scared. It's more exciting for them. You know, like I said, garlic and sugar ... a little, a little."

Four men at the bar burst into laughter.

"Fuckin' green niggers." Chubby sneered. "I'll tell you something else, Irish men are the lousiest lovers. They like to cross themselves right before they come."

"Hey, Chub?"

"Italians and Jews are the only good stickmen around. All niggers know is to stick it in until they come."

"Hey, Chub?"

"Greeks aren't bad if you can get 'em out of the restaurant before they drop dead from washin' too many dishes."

"Hey, Chub?"

"Krauts like to do it to marching music an' Polacks got foreskins like pup tents."

"Hey, Chub, slow down."

"Huh?"

"Lissen, I wanna ask you somethin'. How many chicks you racked with?" Stony bit his nails and raised his eyebrows.

Chubby shrugged his shoulders, suppressing a smile. "In my whole life?"

"In your whole life."

"Oh Christ, three, or maybe four."

"C'mon, will you be serious?" Stony began bending his plastic swizzle stick at different angles.

"Whatta you drivin' at, Stones?"

Stony concentrated on the straw, inserting one end into the other. "Uh ... like ... every time you ball with a chick, does she come? I mean..."