He watched me over the rim of his wineglass, sizing me up like he did his opponents when on the ice. “I’m not sure what my end goal is. I’m fumbling in the dark like you are. What I do know is that I’m insanely attracted to you. I enjoy spending time with you. You’re easy to talk to. I respect your opinions. And, yeah, I’d lose my Puck Brothers card if I didn’t admit I wouldn’t mind getting in your pants at some point in time, but we can play it slow. See where this thing goes.”

I absorbed all that he said, mulling the possibilities over in my mind. I usually didn’t think much beyond the getting-in-the-pants part. My one boyfriend that’d lasted more than a few weeks hadn’t been a good experience. I wasn’t sure what dating Axel would be like. I’d never been a dater before. Just a bones jumper.

When I didn’t respond to what he had to say, he frowned, his eyes troubled. “Are you okay with giving this thing between us a go?”

“I—I don’t know.” My answer was as honest as could be. I wanted to explore a relationship between us, but I was frozen by the fear of being irrevocably hurt. Everyone who’d ever loved me had left me, except for my father, and he was emotionally distant, and Jock, who was the best family member I had. There had to be something wrong with me if so many people walked away once they got to know me. That’d happen with Axel, too, and I’d be left behind with a broken heart and shattered soul. Neither of which I’d be able to repair.

Beneath my tough exterior, I harbored a deep secret. I wasn’t nearly as tough on the inside. I was vulnerable, a marshmallow. I’d concealed my weakness by maintaining an emotional distance and playing up my biker chick persona.

Axel scared me on a level so deep down I didn’t know if I’d recover if and when he walked away from me. And he would leave, wouldn’t he? I wasn’t worthy of love, was I?

While I was an external risk taker, internally I didn’t take risks at all. If you didn’t fall in love, you couldn’t be hurt. If you made your relationships about sex, your heart wasn’t involved. Axel was asking for both—a foreign concept to me and a scary-as-fuck one.

“You afraid?” he challenged me, once again reading my innermost thoughts. His ability to do so was disconcerting.

“No,” I shot back defensively.

One corner of his mouth quirked upward. He knew me, another reason to be wary of getting too close to him.

Axel slid off his stool and closed the few feet between us, gazing down at me. He put his hands on my shoulders. With a hand under my chin, he tilted my face upward and searched my eyes for an answer to a question I didn’t hear him ask, but he’d asked nonetheless.