But it all pales in comparison to the fact that I almost lost the most important thing to me in the world.

I let the tears fall. Allow myself the comfort of crying. I lean my back against a tree and wrap my arms around myself.

How could it all go so wrong? How could I let this happen to us?

My thoughts grow darker and darker as the sun fades, until I hear Temra calling for me.

“Over here,” I say. My tears have long since dried. She crouches down beside me, and I hug her to me. “I thought I lost you for a moment.”

“I’m all right. You came for me.”

“I’ll always come for you.”

She runs a hand over my hair. “Even when I’m awful to you.”

“I forgive you.”

“Ziva, what I said, I didn’t mean any of it. I was just so relieved to know our family and to feel like there might be a new place, maybe even a better one for us. I just wanted to feel safe, and you were taking that away. You were pointing out the facts, and I didn’t want to listen. I put you in danger by not listening. I swear to you that I will never do that again. You’re my sister, the only family I need. I won’t forget it a second time.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

Now she’s the one hugging me, offering me comfort. I feel guilty taking it from my little sister. I’m supposed to be the one protecting and comforting her. I nearly got her killed twice now. I wonder again if she wouldn’t be better off separated from me.

“I hate that mercenary,” I say after a while. “He’s dishonorable. Are you sure we can’t send him on his way?”

She doesn’t grant my question any weight by responding.

I bury my face against her shoulder. I have to scoot my body to the side to manage it with my superior height. “He slowed us down, Temra. He actually started talking about money while you were in danger. What kind of person does that?”

“He is what he is. We shouldn’t expect anything more from him. The one thing we can rely on is that he will always do what we need of him if he wants something from us. That should give us some relief.”

“It doesn’t.” The embarrassing part is that I almost thought we were friends. Someone I could finally tolerate having around who wasn’t my sister. I’ve never had that before.

And then he did this.

We may need the mercenary around for our survival, but I give myself full permission to hate him every step of the journey.

“Is it possible,” Temra asks, “that you’re overreacting?”

“How could I ever overreact where your safety is concerned?”

“I just want to make sure you’re not looking for excuses to push him away.”

“What nonsense are you speaking?”

“You were starting to like him. Maybe that scared you a bit.”