“ ‘I’m totally for it. Can’t wait to ask Aunt Queen. But I have a question for you,’ I said. ‘What is your honest opinion of Nash?’

“ ‘A wonderful man, brilliant, very well-read, very refined. He’ll be a marvelous teacher and guide for you in Europe. Don’t you think so yourself?’

“ ‘Yes, but I sensed something between you, that you didn’t like each other. Was I wrong?’

“ ‘You were right to sense something,’ he said. ‘He doesn’t like me. He suspects my motives. He doesn’t understand the nature of the Talamasca, and not understanding our rules and our role he thinks me guilty of a brand of self-interest. When you come home, if you and I become friends as I hope we will, maybe he’ll change his mind. For now, please don’t trouble yourself about it. He’s an extraordinarily nice man.’

“ ‘I know what you’re talking about,’ I said. ‘He feels a lot of insecurity about being attracted to men. I don’t really.’

“ ‘You don’t?’ he asked.

“ ‘I thought you could read minds,’ I said. ‘I hope that sounded agreeable. I meant it to sound agreeable. I’ve had an unusual life is what I ought to have said. I lost my virginity with Rebecca, then had fun in the shower with Goblin, then fell in love with Mona, and I’m not certain what’s next. If Mona will marry me I’ll be happy to my dying day.’

“He didn’t answer me.

“ ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘Do I sound too cavalier for your taste?’

“ ‘No, you don’t at all,’ he said. ‘I was just thinking about Mona, and whether or not to say what came into my mind.’

“ ‘Oh, please do say it. I wish I could read it.’

“ ‘If you marry her, it’s likely to be until her dying day before yours.’

“ ‘No,’ I said. ‘No. That’s not true. That’s not true. Dr. Rowan Mayfair knows that’s not true. They’re working on it night and day. They’ll reverse Mona’s condition. I mean they’ll halt it. They’ll fix it. It’s not going to be that bad. She’ll probably even—’ I broke off. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said.

“ ‘You owe me no apology. I owe one to you. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I thought last night you’d understood what they were talking about.’

“ ‘I didn’t want to understand,’ I said. ‘But I knew.’

“We talked some more about the Talamasca.

“Anytime I wanted to visit Oak Haven I was welcome. Now it was time for parting and I drove Stirling back to his car. It was a handsome brown Rolls-Royce with cream-colored upholstery. He said the Talamasca spoilt all its members with fine cars and fine furniture.

“ ‘And what do we do in return for it?’ he asked rhetorically. ‘Live like celibates and work like dogs.’