In New York City, Edward the Fireman sat in a diner and caught the end of The Penny Lock Show. A woman was saying her husband was a plastic surgeon who’d fallen in love with her while she was under his knife.

“What were you having done? If you don’t mind my asking,” said Penny Lock.

“Breasts.”

“Okay.”

“Great big breasts.”

“Well, that’s nice.”

“He did a beautiful job but kept calling me back to check up on them.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He wanted to see me again, you get me?”

“I get you.”

“He offered to do my nose for free.”

“Right.”

“And offered to give me big lips and higher cheeks and a tummy tuck.”

“And has he done those?”

“Yep. I hardly recognize myself.”

“And is that a good thing?”

“Oh yes. It’s good to get involved in your partner’s career. I think it’s the key to a healthy relationship. That’s what I wanted to say to your listeners, get interested in your husband’s work.”

“Let them slice you up?”

“If appropriate.”

“Well, there you go. Thanks for calling.”

“My pleasure.”

699

Beep.

“That was a joke by the way, about the ticket to Geneva, I just meant to say it was fine about the session. Okay, speak to you soon.”

698

Edward shook his head sadly. The show was losing its way.

He looked around at his fellow diners. A blonde drinking a milk shake, too young for him. A brunette querying the bill, too petty. A redhead cleaning her glasses, too shortsighted.

He ordered meat loaf and fries. The waitress? Too downtrodden. None of them had passion. None had zeal in their eyes. He knew that if SHE was in the diner he’d know her immediately.

Edward moved on to tape five, Running Out of Diners. His food arrived. Halfway through his meal he put down his cutlery as instructed and walked into the toilets. He entered the far stall, locked the door, opened the window and slipped through into the yard, taking care not to snag his headphones wire. He jumped the wall and ran away. He got a stitch and slowed to a walk. The voice on the tape made no concession to indigestion and asked him to jog another twelve blocks just to be on the safe side. Edward switched off his Walkman and was sick in a trash can. Self-help tape five got the lowest marks yet.

697

I think he should listen to the radio more. Find some music. Might calm him down. Sisterly advice.

696

My radio is quiet. It may be blaring out but I can’t hear it. I would’ve thought there’d be something, at least for the fishermen out at sea. I’m flying through time zones but feeling no change. Feeling light.

I put the radio to my lips to feel the vibrations. Ah, there’s something.